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Snow = ski

Despite the best efforts of the Bush Administration, the phenomenon of snow in the Northeast during the winter months ain’t going away anytime soon. And I believe even the snow-haters welcomed this past week’s snow. After last winter’s dry, warm spell, winter’s constipation has ended with a cathartic dropping of a fluffy foot of powder. Ahhhh. Relief.

skiski

For cross-country skiers like Mr. P and I, a mid-December snow is an early Christmas present. This morning, we headed to Windblown XC, just across the state line into New Hampshire. I stepped into my bindings and started skiing as if the 8-month hiatus never happened. I also crashed while going down the Alpine-style open slope as if I’ve been crashing my whole life. Pictured to the right is Mr. P on the open slope, smiling because he was born on skis.

However, those little XC skiing muscles that lay dormant – the lateral head of the triceps, the hip adductor brevis – those were screaming injustices soon after lunchtime. (Rest up, my little muscles… New Years in the French Alps is only two weeks away…)

Posted in Existence.

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What a country

My original idea for this post was to write on an article in today’s New York Times about how homemade bombs exploded outside of two Baghdad liquor stores, killing two and wounding seven. Says the article, “Liquor stores are frequent targets of bombings and other violence by Islamic militants seeking to end the sale of alcohol here.” I mean, what kind of an effed-up killjoy do you have to be to believe that drinking alcohol is more evil than detonating bombs?

But it’s Friday, so let’s move onto the lighter side of life. Paris Hilton is belatedly hopping onto the Green bandwagon by making some lifestyle changes to help the environment. Besides ordering her servants to change all of the light bulbs in an unspecified number of the Hilton’s vast real estate holding and shopping for a hybrid car, Paris is making it a point to turn off the lights, TV, and running water when she leaves the house. !!! Who the eff leaves the water running when they leave the house? And for turning off her utilities when she’s not using them, she wants… what, our respect?

Obviously even the light news is stressing me out. So I’ll sum it all up with a link to 33 of the Best Beer Pong Tables Ever Created (here).

Posted in In the News.

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Real live snow!

Massachusetts got whupped by fluffy, light, fast-falling snow this afternoon. Thousands upon thousands of geniuses waited until the first snowflakes fell before leaving work simultaneously, creating a traffic nightmare that public transported pedestrians like myself could have a nice chuckle over, had we not been struggling to walk on unshoveled sidewalks through a blinding snow.

At least this isn’t the South, where snow warrants hysteria, panic, and hundreds of totaled Camaros.

This is the first snow in a long time where I’ve had a driveway and sidewalk to shovel. The second I got home, I cleared off 5 or so inches. You know, to stay ahead of the storm. I went out two hours later, and plan to make one more trip after dinner. I would post a picture of me shoveling, but honestly, shoveling ain’t the most flattering activity. So instead, here’s the radar. As of 8pm, the storm is tapering down, with totals expected to reach a foot.

Where are my skis?!?

bostonsnow

Posted in Massachusetts.

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Private Dancers

Today about 25 young members of the Boston Ballet came to my office building to perform selections from The Nutcracker on a temporary stage in the lobby (yes, it is a massive lobby). The lunchtime performance featured most of the favorite characters – Sugar Plum Fairy, Coffee and Tea, the Russians – but lacked a Clara, which is sort of like The Wizard of Oz without a Dorothy.

I grabbed my provisioned box lunch and sat in a folding chair on the edge of the audience, just in case I wanted to leave early (I mean… no Clara? What is up with that?) I wound up sitting right next to the makeshift “backstage” area for the dancers. I munched potato chips as they stretched and preened, telling myself that they were envious of my curvy chest and hips.

What amazed me wasn’t how flexible and gaunt the dancers were. It was how hard they breathed after leaving the stage. Their little bodies gulped air as if they just surfaced from the botton of the Atlantic Ocean. Even the graceful, effortless Sugar Plum Fairy started panting like a dog the second she left the stage.

For the finale, all of the dancers ascended the temporary stage for synchronous jumping. The scenery behind the dancers shook violently, and the audience murmured as fluff and glitter began falling from the tottering cardboard castle. Luckily, the show ended, everyone applauded, and the dancers took lavish bows before rushing off the stage, impassive and breathless.

Posted in Culture.

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Street View

Today Google Maps unveiled its Street View feature for the city of Boston. Street View allows you to see actual photographs of the streets on a map. It’s useful technology to see what a particular restaurant or store looks like before you go there.

According to privacy advocates, it’s also useful technology if you’re an Orwellian Totalitarian Fascistic tyrant conducting visual surveillance on a sheep-like populace to find out whose shutters need painting or who has left their recycling bins on the curb one day last summer.

Me, I could have played with it all day. There’s a draggable icon person that you can put anywhere on the map, and then pan and zoom in order to fully gawk at the surroundings. I revisited some of my old apartments and offices. I hung out in Harvard Square then jumped over to Boston Harbor. I swung by my current office at International Place, and found a group of short-sleeved tourist walking by the main entrance (pictured below). Pretty cool.

streetview

Speaking of Boston’s streets… I love ’em, really I do. Boston is one of the greatest walking cities in America, because Boston is so cramped that there is no more room for any more cars, so pedestrians always get the priority of mobility. Unfortunately, this confers a sense of entitlement that has also made Boston a city of jaywalkers. I’m waiting for the day that a crowd of morning commuters crossing against a traffic signal in a critical mass is mowed down by a red-faced taxi driver who has worn out his horn.

Today, as I walked to the Post Office during lunch, I waited to cross Atlantic Avenue. A BMW ripped through the intersection just as the Walk signal light up. “Haven’t you ever heard of a Red Light?” a man shouted at the car. He was crossing the street about 20 feet away from the intersection on a step-saving diagonal, and so therefore was nearly hit by the BMW.

The woman driver leaned out and hollered “Haven’t you ever heard of a cross-walk?” before speeding away. Zing!

Posted in Massachusetts.

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‘Twas the Season

Two more weeks until Christmas. That’s right, only 14 days. If you aren’t already sick of looking at your Christmas decorations, if you haven’t already gained 5 pounds from unrestrained holiday drinking and eating, if you haven’t invaded your local Wal-Mart to rip down the aisles with a shopping cart crammed full of Chinese-made products while screaming like a stressed chimpanzee, well then YOU BETTER HIT YOUR INTERNAL PANIC BUTTON AND GET A MOVE ON.

Breaking news! A woman in Cedar Rapids has all of her Christmas shopping done, according to this news article called (really) “Meet someone who has all her Christmas shopping done”. This is human interest reporting at its most cloying, complete with a picture of said woman looking smug, relaxed, and like a veritable well of tips from Real Simple magazine. She completed all of her shopping by Halloween because she refuses to let Christmas sneak up on her. “My innate nature is to plan and prepare,” she says. Ha, I like that. Much more genteel than “I’m anal-retentive, fearful of spontaneity, and possibly OCD.”

That woman’s philosophy on holiday shopping is about as joyless as Pope Benedict’s, who recently gave his annual admonishment about materialistic Christmas in which he warned that our children are being lured into the “dead-end street of consumerism”. Poor Pope. He says this every year with little public acknowledgment of his concerns. Maybe he should make all shopping in the months of November and December a mortal sin. Then we’d all have to be done our shopping by Halloween.

Posted in Americana.

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Ikea Binge

No residential move is complete without a post-furnishing trip to Ikea.

leksvik

Six years ago, the closest Ikea was in North Jersey. Three of us rented an SUV and left at 6am. We returned at 10pm. I can remember unloading the car in the dark, staring at the tiny pictures on the identical sheets of corrugated cardboard packaging: “Are these my shelves? Whose Kolsvik is this? What the hell is a Jerker?”

Three years ago, Ikea had inched closer in Connecticut. Still, interstate highway travel didn’t exactly soothe my nerves after fighting through the packed, chaotic showroom and having a nervous breakdown in the self-service furniture warehouse while picking out the parts of my bed.

Now the Boston metro area has an Ikea of its very own in Stoughton, not 30 minutes from my house. Having a close-by Ikea takes the edge off the decision-making. We got a new coffee table, two table tops and eight legs, a few rugs, a Leksvik chest with 5 drawers, and a Leksvik linen closet, all of which fit neatly into the back of a Honda Civic. Ah, the wonders of flat-packed furniture…

And self-assembly. Says Ikea’s website “While our furniture may seem attractive on the showroom floor, it takes on a whole new kind of beauty inside the cardboard boxes.” Yes, the beauty of picking through bags of widgets and screws, of squinting at the instructions and counting holes to figure out the orientation of a wooden plank, of discovering the hex key has bored away the skin on your index finger. The beauty of a Leksvik linen closet (pictured right), standing intact, holding towels.

Posted in Existence.

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Tales from the T

It is my profound pleasure to re-start my “Tales from the T” feature, after 15 agonizing months of “Tales from the [Commuter] Rails.” To be back on the sleek, swift Red Line after experiencing the choked crawl of the Purple Line is a relief.

And the people on the T are so much more interesting to observe and eavesdrop on than the zombies on the Commuter Rail. Just yesterday, I overheard a young man discussing an intoxicated young woman who getting quite randy at a gathering of college students, and she totally attempted to put her legs behind her head while wearing a short skirt and thong underwear. It’s zany banter like this that will keep me young.

Today I got off the train at Alewife to find a troop of Boy Scouts selling, of all things, fudge. Yes, fudge, in plain white boxes, under a sign that identified their troop and proclaimed “Fudge! $5.” I did a double-take. Girl Scout cookies are prurient enough, but am I the only one with a scatological mind that the sight of Boy Scouts hawking fudge seems incredibly wrong?

Oh, I love the T. It’s like a Fountain of Youth for my inner bawd.

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Book Review: “Suite Francaise” by Irene Nemirovsky

It’s hard to say how much of my emotion over this remarkable novel was provoked by the tragic, extraordinary ‘story behind the story.’ Irene Nemirovsky, born a Russian Jew, was an internationally-recognized novelist who lived most of her adult life in Paris. She started writing Suite Francaise at the beginning of World War II, envisioning an epic in five parts about events that were unfolding in occupied France. Nemirovsky completed the first two parts before she was arrested and deported to Auschwitz in 1942, where she died. Her two daughters held onto the handwritten manuscript for 64 years before one of them transcribed it, and Suite Francaise was published in 2006 to great acclaim.

And rightly so. Suite Francaise is engrossing, with simple, real characters, precious details, and fast-moving action. The first part “Tempete en juin” (“Storm in June”) deals with the mass exodus of Paris in June 1940 and follows an array of characters as they flee the city amid the chaos and fear. Yet there’s an unmistakable absurdist comedy to it all, and more than once I laughed aloud at the famous novelist who is briefly separated from his car and servants, or the middle-class family who packs their linens and silverware as if preparing for a summertime trip to the countryside.

The second part “Dolce” (“Sweet”) focuses on a village called Bussy and the surrounding farms where some of these characters reside. The tone is more serious; day-to-day life during the German occupation is vividly depicted (Nemirovsky spent the last year of her life in similar environs). The nuanced interaction between the French citizens and the German soldiers is fascinating; there are collaborators, resistors, but most prevalently, sympathizers.

The storyline in “Dolce” revolves around Lucile, the pretty wife of a French PoW in Germany. She sort of falls in love with the German commander who is billeted at the house that Lucile shares with her severe mother-in-law. When Lucile and her German’s relationship becomes physical, “she felt nothing, nothing but the cold buckle of his uniform pressing against her chest… He was whispering to her in German. Foreigner! Foreigner! Enemy, in spite of everything.” This relationship, while schmaltzy, depicts the ambivalence that the French have for their occupiers. With their young men gone, the French make the German soldiers surrogate fathers, husbands, and sons, but only on the surface.

My heart broke when I came to the end of the second part, because the story is unfinished, and because the story is unfinished.

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On Luck

To the Chinese, luck is a human attribute, similar to intelligence, beauty, wit, or talent. Each person possesses a level of luck – good, bad, or middling – that can vary, similar to how one’s health, wealth, and happiness can be improved or diminished. Whereas Westerners consider luck to be chance occurrences beyond one’s control, the Chinese consider luck to be an attribute that can be improved with beneficial feng shui. I like the Chinese view of luck, because life is not as random as all that. There are lightning strikes and lotteries, but generally, we reap what we sow.

“Being deeply learned and skilled, being well trained and using well spoken words; this is good luck” – Buddha

When I was in second grade, it was all the rage to carry a rabbit’s foot on a keychain for good luck. I remember stroking the soft fur, avidly believing in the power of the rabbit’s foot (although what is luck to a second grader? Finding a quarter? Getting to stay up until 9pm?). Then, one day as I sniffed curiously at the foot’s unusual musky smell, a repelling thought dawned on me: This was once attached to an actual rabbit. I stopped carrying it. After all, the foot wasn’t so lucky for the rabbit.

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson

Coincidentally, around this time in my life, my favorite breakfast cereal was Lucky Charms. In hindsight, I recognize that my passion for Lucky Charms blossomed under a targeted marketing strategy by General Mills that flooded Saturday morning cartoons with vivid commercials revolving around Lucky the Leprechaun (“They’re always after me Lucky Charms!”) Yeah, sure the cereal is “magically delicious”… it turned out, the magic ingredient is sugar.

“Just tell yourself, Duckie, you’re really quite lucky!” – Dr. Seuss

I’m thinking about luck today because of last night’s Patriot’s game, in which they narrowly defeated the Baltimore Ravens 27-24. The Boston Globe wrote an article entitled “Luck helps keep perfection alive”: “The Patriots never lose. Most of the time they dominate. Some of the time they are clutch. And sometimes they are just plain lucky. Last night they were clutch. And lucky.” Indisputable. But as I said before, we reap what we sow.

“I wasn’t lucky. I deserved it” – Margaret Thatcher

Posted in Nostalgia.

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