Mount Moosilauke 4802′ July 22, 2007

Actually, what brought us to the White Mountains for the third weekend straight wasn’t the opportunity to bag another Four Thousand Footer in prime hiking weather, but NAFTA. Yes, the North America Free Trade Agreement. That NAFTA.

Mr. Pinault, who isn’t about to renounce his EU or Canadian citizenships after seeing Sicko, was required to make a pilgrimage to the Quebec/Vermont border to have his visa credentials inspected in anticipation of his new job.

We stopped at Mount Moosilauke (elevation 4802 ft), a popular mountain with excellent trails maintained by Dartmouth College’s Outing Club. Mount Moosilauke proved to be the easiest Four Thousand Footer yet (or maybe our hiking muscles are getting honed, toned, and zoned.) The trailhead started way up at 2500 feet, and the rest of the elevation was gained gradually. The luxurious dirt cushion was mostly free of rock slabs, although the trail’s popularity was evident from erosion that left tree roots protruding like a New York socialite’s clavicles. We finished the loop in under 5 hours despite dawdling over snacks and photos.

Pictured to the right is Mount Moosilauke’s exposed summit from about a quarter mile away. Below is Mr. Pinault in his new “Live Free or Die” t-shirt that I bought him in celebration of his visa extension. (Hallmark, take notice! Isn’t it time “Visa Extension” be recognized as a greeting card-worthy occasion?)

Posted in 4000 Footers.

Tagged with Great Outdoors, Photos.

Comments Off on Mount Moosilauke 4802′ July 22, 2007

By Meredith – July 22, 2007

Just Wild About Harry

When people ask me if I’m into Harry Potter, I say “No, I’m not a fan of fantasy.” Which is absolutely true, but a more complete truth would be “No, I’m too much of a snob. I consider indiscriminate mass-marketing to have a high correlation with crap quality. Media sensations tend to be juvenile, intellectually unstimulating, and devoid of anything offensive. It’s just not interesting to me.” But I can’t say that, because I’m really, really trying to be less of a prick.

I read one Harry Potter book and saw one Harry Potter movie. Coincidentally, it was the same one : Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. When I went to go see the movie, I didn’t realize at first that it was the same book I had read. Oh, yeah. The Quidditch World Cup. The Triwizard Tournament. Heh.

Since my experience with Harry Potter is limited, I’ll take it on faith that it’s a worthwhile pursuit. Faith, and the New York Times, who in a generally positive pre-release review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows called the series a “monumental, spellbinding epic… deeply rooted in traditional literature and Hollywood sagas”. (I’ll suppress the urge to snidely remind adult fans that it’s a children book written on a fifth-grade reading level.)

But regardless of any literary merits, it’s obvious that what fans love most is the ritualistic hooplah surrounding each book’s release. The anticipation. The speculation. The late-night release. The frenzied, sleepless devouring of its pages. When you’re a Harry Potter fan, you’re not just some nerd with a book. You’re apart of a huge community of nerds with the same book.

It’s difficult for me to reconcile this public frenzy with the solitary act of reading. When I read a Washington Post article called ‘Harry Potter and the Death of Reading” all my niggling dislike of Harry Potter became crystallized. To me, reading is slinking around a library or book store looking for an interesting book. Reading is curling up under the bed covers with a book propped on my stomach. Reading is a temporary escape to a private world that I like to pretend that I discovered.

Posted in Culture.

Tagged with English Major.

Comments Off on Just Wild About Harry

By Meredith – July 19, 2007

A Meal Fit for a Bush: Cheeseburger Pizza and the Decline of the American Empire

Emboldened by the commutation of Scooter Libby’s prison sentence and Bush’s evident nonchalance about leaks within his flailing administration, White House chef Cristeta Comerford stood before an international gathering of chefs for statesmen and royals and let it slip: President Bush’s favorite meal is… Cheeseburger Pizza.

Cheeseburger. Pizza.

My brain short-circuited, conjuring a slideshow of culinary monstrosities: white buns bloated with beef patties and dripping mozzarella, or two limp slices of pizza sandwiching a puck of meat, or, most viscerally, a post-coaster pool of half-digested cheeseburgers and pizza, mingling in vomitous union beneath a rollercoaster.

Comerford, a trained and credentialed chef who broke glass ceilings just by entering the White House kitchen, tried to maintain her dignity. She described the dish, with all the seriousness of haute cuisine, as “every ingredient of a cheeseburger on top of a margherita pizza.” That poor woman. Whipping out the word margherita in an attempt to elevate what is, essentially, ground beef dumped on dough for a grown man with the palate of a lunchbox-carrying third grader.

A bit of research revealed the dish’s origin: the 2005 season of The Apprentice, where it was marketed by none other than Donald Trump and Domino’s as the “American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza.” Classic. Sure. It’s a real pillar of our national culinary heritage, like Kraft Singles or dipping fries in a Frosty.

So no, I’m not surprised that Bush’s childlike intellect is fueled by Cheeseburger Pizza rather than anything involving flavor complexity or fiber. I’d already read excerpts from former White House chef Walter Scheib’s memoir, Eleven Years, Two Presidents, One Kitchen, and it was no secret: the Bush family’s tastes were about as evolved as a drive-thru menu.

And just a thought: perhaps the man who refuses to eat hummus because it’s “icky” should not be allowed to make historic decisions about the Middle East.

Posted in In the News.

Tagged with Food, Politics, revised.

Comments Off on A Meal Fit for a Bush: Cheeseburger Pizza and the Decline of the American Empire

By Meredith – July 18, 2007

I Scream for I Scream

I spent the day researching enterprise document management systems (DMS). I can’t decide what is scarier: Reading the system requirements and installation directions for the open source projects on SourceForge, or looking at the stock corporate photos of insanely smiling people on the web sites of proprietary software.

It was one of those days: Under the scorching heat of a mid-summer’s haze, I lift a fully-loaded waffle cone of vanilla soft serve above my head and bite off the tip. Smoldered soft-serve drips onto my tongue as steady as an IV. Then, the deluge. My face is covered in my own sugary brazenness. Yes, it was one of those metaphorically silly sticky days.

Posted in The 9 to 5.

Tagged with Technology.

Comments Off on I Scream for I Scream

By Meredith – July 17, 2007

30 Minute Train Poetry

“She Runs in Heels”

All manners ignored, all poise indiscrete,

a bun-haired corporate valkyrie on Congress Street

Bolts past the midday crowds on hobbled feet.

Her legs pumping as steady as wheels,

Her steps unthrottled as she runs in heels.

Taunt calf muscles clad in panty hose

Clench with each impact of heel and toes,

then a pause for the body to recompose.

The world stops to watch her running in heels.

Pedestrians scan for the source of sound:

The clack clack, click click feminine pound

That signals a woman perched four inches above ground.

The head of a construction worker reels

to stare at her skirt as she runs in heels.

And her porcelain face yields no clue

About what goal she is propelled to pursue

In the world’s most impractical shoe.

The intrigue of it all! I’m dying to feel

The sublime confinement of running in heels.

–Meredith

Posted in Culture.

Tagged with Poetry.

Comments Off on 30 Minute Train Poetry

By Meredith – July 16, 2007

Mt Adams 5774′ July 15 2007

During the last mile of our 9.5 mile day hike to the summit of Mount Adams, Mr. Pinault turned to me and crowed “Mt. Adams is in the pocket!”

“In the pocket” is one of many French idioms that bares a strong, almost deliberate resemblance to its English counterpart, “in the bag.” Normally I would have grabbed a tree branch which which to fashion a switch and whipped Mr. Pinault while shouting “In the bag! Say it, in the bag!” It’s the only way he’ll learn colloquial English. But it was Bastille Day, so I magnanimously ignored his foible and agreed with his sentiment. “Yes, another Four Thousand Footer has been pocketed!”

Rewind:

Mount Adams (elevation 5774) is the second tallest mountain in the Northeast (its neighbor Mount Washington is the tallest ). The first 2 1/2 hours were a steady climb on the Air Line trail through the woods. When we finally reached the “Stop” sign, we knew good views lay ahead above the treeline. The weather was kind: blue skies with a few clouds, fresh air, no wind. Mr. Pinault was elated that we were not going to die.

Posted in 4000 Footers.

Tagged with Great Outdoors, Photos.

Comments Off on Mt Adams 5774′ July 15 2007

By Meredith – July 15, 2007

I Feel Fine

More than a few months ago, I got an email from a young lady in Illinois about this website. It was very flattering and it ended with a vague request for “Any advice for my blog?” So I checked out her blog, which turned out to be an online diary of anguished emotion and teenaged narcissism. Each day featured no less than 1000 words about how she was feeling. Literally, it was like “I am feeling incredibly sad. I feel sadder today than yesterday. I thought I’d feel better if I talked to Tara. So I called Tara but she made me feel upset. Maybe I will feel happy if I smiled more. I feel scared about how I will feel tomorrow.”

And on and on. I wanted to advise her “Don’t torture the reader with daily updates on your mundane activities and emotions. Don’t write a lot if you’re not saying anything.” But being blunt to strangers isn’t my thing, so I said instead “Wow you’re really prolific and sincere. Try re-reading what you write, and imagine how what your readers are feeling.”

I never heard back from the young lady and her blog wasn’t updated the last time I checked, but I thought of her as I played around with We Feel Fine (here), a Java applet that “harvests human feelings,” which sounds creepy in a City of the Lost Children sort of way. We Feel Fine searches millions of blogs for statements containing the phrases “I feel” and “I am feeling” and compiles a database of these statements. When you go to the website, you can explore recent feelings, which are rendered as color-coded particles on a series of six aesthetically-pleasing user interfaces.

At first, I admired We Feel Fine more for its technical and artistic coolness than for its mission, which is to “make the world seem a little smaller… help people see beauty in the everyday ups and downs of life.” Yeah, mushy gushy feelings, whatever. But as I played around with We Feel Fine, I gradually saw the strange poignancy in a single statement that declares a feeling. Stripped of context and identity, it suddenly has the potential to be universal. I find myself relating to a surprising number of the feelings that I probably would not have picked up on from reading the entire blog. Here are just a sampling of feelings that I found today (really, go try it yourself)

i feel so conflicted about harry potter because I want it so badly but i dont because then it will be over (from someone)

i feel it is an act of extreme chutzpah for apple to ask me to pay 2200 (from

someone)

i cant deny that i feel somewhat nostalgic and sad of those great teenage and college years but i guess thats life and we need to try to get the best out of every age (from someone)

i feel like puking when i see such a stupid talentless asshole advocating social darwinism (from someone)

i feel like a caged bird in this town (from someone in tennessee)

i had some difficulty with my right knee in the beginning but it feels much better since i switched shoes. (from someone)

i feel like garbage (from someone in ontario canada)

i feel like a doll (from somone in warsaw poland when it was sunny)

i feel at ease (from someone)

i feel so alive this morning (from someone)

i feel the drink vouchers were free shots that tasted like christmas (from a 20 year old in bristol england when it was rainy)

i feel like someone punched me in the face (from someone in hightstown new jersey)

i feel like prancing around in the rain barefoot (from someone)

Posted in Existence.

Tagged with Quotes, Technology.

Comments Off on I Feel Fine

By Meredith – July 12, 2007

I’m Bushed

Picking up the newspaper every morning and reading about the latest news involving the Bush Administration is becoming downright farcical. Surgeon General claims Bush Administration Interference. Homeland Security Secretary has “gut feeling” about threat. Bush still staying the long, bloody, unending course in Iraq.

This presidency is like a sit-com, with every episode a slight variation on an arrogantly stupid, borderline fascist theme. Can’t someone make him go away? I know Nancy Pelosi has no interest in impeaching Bush, but maybe she’d be willing to euphemistically “cancel the sit-com”?

I just can’t muster the energy to rant about Bush today. No, sir. It’s July and I’m five months away from my next vacation. I think I’ll suck on a beer and feign ignorance about humanity’s plight.

Posted in In the News.

Tagged with Politics.

Comments Off on I’m Bushed

By Meredith – July 11, 2007

Professional Help

I just passed the 8-year mark as a technical writer [or, if the Society for Technical Communication (STC) has its way with the US government’s Standard Occupational Classifications (SOC), a technical communicator]. I’m on the cusp of legitimately dangling that covetable modifier “senior” in front of whatever I am in order to designate my experience as a proven producer of quality technical documentation, my ability to successfully plan, manage, and execute assignments in parallel with software development cycles, and my passion for keeping up with new trends in the ever-evolving world of technical documentation.

Senior! It’s incredible. I can distinctly remember when I was a Junior. I couldn’t type nearly as fast as I can now, nor could I babble about learnability, usability, and discoverability. My use of bolded and italicized text was frightfully gratuitous. And to think how I’ve mastered bulleted lists!

I belong to several Yahoo Groups that pertain to my profession and receive daily digests with the ongoing discussions. On slow days, I’ll delve into the digest to gauge the hot topics among technical communicators. A current controversy: What symbols do you use to explain a series of clicks in the software? One meticulous writer has always used arrows (Tools –> Options) but MS Word is turning the arrows into nasty wingdings. So should he use greater-thans (Tools > Option), vertical bars (Tools | Options), or another alternative?

A fervent flurry of responses. The devout greater-thans are outraged at any deviation from the standard greater-than philosophy because it imperils universal user understanding. Those in the vertical bar minority are likewise disgusted that anyone would call their beloved corporate standards into question. Takeaway lesson: If you ever want to rile a technical communicator, just mention anything related to stylistic standards.

At the first company I ever worked at, way back when I was the Junior on a team of five Seniors, a fellow writer was ready to quit because one of our weekly style meetings chastised him for using “they” to describe a singular person and avoid use of a gender. “I refuse to do the ‘he/she,'” he ranted to me afterwards in the kitchenette. “I abhor the ‘he/she.’ I’d rather be grammatically incorrect than clumsy.” I do not think it a coincidence that, two years after the documentation department’s gender-neutrality schism, the company went bankrupt.

Posted in The 9 to 5.

Tagged with Technical Writing.

Comments Off on Professional Help

By Meredith – July 10, 2007

The Chinese Threat

About a year ago, an acquaintance and I engaged in spirited banter about whether or not China was poised to achieve world domination within the next 30 years.

His argument can be summed up in three words: One billion people. “The Chinese are hell-bent on taking over the world and there’s one billion of them. They’ll gobble up the Earth’s resources. They’ll surpass the US economically. They’ll have an irreproachable military. The US will have no influence over the Chinese government, and we’ll have no choice but to bow to their will.”

My counter-argument can be summed up in two words: Squat toilets. “The greatness of Chinese civilization cannot be denied. However, I do not accept that a culture of squat toilets can be superior to Western civilization. Squat toilets are squalid, indecent, unhygienic, devoid of etiquette, and symbolic of how China is not only decades behind, they’re centuries behind. It’ll take decades to modernize their toilet infrastructure, let alone achieve world domination.”

But today’s announcement of Beijing’s new 1000-stall palatial public toilet has me a little apprehensive. Said one Chinese official, “We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV… After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy.” Chilling.