Bowwow Bestiality
A man in New Jersey has been charged with repeatedly sodomizing his neighbor’s dog—a female Rottweiler named Precious.
I know. Horrifying. But also—come on. All I could picture was Gollum mid-thrust, whispering “My Preciousss… we wants it, we needs it… must have the Precious.” Then I died, went straight to hell, and this headline was the welcome mat.
Dave Barry Puts Down the Joke Stick
Dave Barry is retiring his humor column. Possibly forever. Possibly not. The man is a master of vague exits.
I, for one, will deeply miss skipping over his column in the Boston Globe Magazine.
Praise the Lord and Pass the Horsepower
A church in Florida is giving away a 2003 H2 Hummer as a door prize during their upcoming week-long revival.
Apparently, the Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways—and occasionally needs 10 mpg to do it. While some are clutching their WWJD bracelets and asking, “Would Jesus roll coal?” the rest of us are just here for the altar call raffle.
