The quarterly REI Garage was held today at 10am at all Boston-area REI stores. Ah, is there any shopping event more gratifying to thrifty outdoorsy types than the infamous REI Garage Sale, where returned, overstocked, and slightly-damaged merchandise is sold at cut-throat prices? Whose throat would you cut for $30 snowshoes? Well, hopefully you’re not that deranged, but perhaps you would brave single-digit temperatures and sub-zero wind chills in order to queue up for the store opening. You may be even willing to camp overnight to secure a top position in the line and truly show how committed you are to the procurement of cheap sporting equipment.
We arrived at exactly 9am and were surprised that the line was already halfway around the building despite it being 6 degrees. The crowd dwarfed the line at the REI Garage Sale that we attended last spring. I guess word about the REI Garage Sales is steadily spreading, and pretty soon it won’t even be worth the trip to Reading, because the crazies who camp overnight simply run into the store and hoard as much gear as they can get, leaving slim pickings for the several hundred people who follow. And since one hour is just about the limit that I’m willing to stand in line in order to pick at broken, ugly, and/or used crap, I might as well sleep in on Saturday.
But not today. The doors opened and the line poured into the store. I was looking for ski boots, and when I didn’t immediately see any, I became disoriented and wandered around tables full of tents, backpacks, cycling accessories, and other items that I don’t need. I finally ended up in the shoe section, the most chaotic place in the store, with scores of men, women, and children rummaging frantically through the boots, sneakers, and slippers. Some people blindly grabbed what they could. Under these conditions, it is a miracle that I spied a pair of perfectly new winter North Face boots that were exactly my size. No, not a miracle, but fate, because if there’s one thing I lack in my winter wardrobe, it is a rugged pair of snow boots. And North Face, too! I don’t necessarily fetishize North Face, and in fact I resent how mainstream fashion has co-opted North Face gear for their everyday “going to the supermarket” wear, but North Face boots with a price tag for $9.86 are something I’ll get excited about.
$10 Boots
After finding the boots, I ducked over to the women’s clothing racks, which were predictably mobbed. Sifting through the hangers and inspecting each item of clothing was not an option, so I quickly grabbed a half-dozen things that looked like something I might wear. At this point, I’ve only been in the store for about 8 minutes and already nothing is left. I found a quiet place in the store and inspected the clothing in my possession: Oversized sweaters, used hiking shirts, an XS sports bra. Crap. I threw everything back on the rack; it was like tossing guppies into a tank of piranhas. Those maniacal women simply absorbed everything.
So I made out with my $10 pair of North Face winter boots. And Mr. P? Well, he somehow came away with $30 snowshoes and boots. I wonder whose throat he had to cut for those.
