One Green Thumb (click for explanation)****Back in Boston
The Thanksgiving Holiday has left me ignorant to what is happening in the world. I won't even attempt to comment coherently on the news: I've just got back from rural North Carolina.
Click here to read about my Thanksgiving.
Wednesday November 27, 2003
****Holiday Gorging: Go For It
Tis the
time of year when one reads many Holiday eating tips... mainly tips on how not
to eat.
I read that the typical American gains 5 pounds between Thanksgiving and New
Years. That figure was a little surprising, as the idea that Americans eat significantly
more during the holidays as compared to the rest of the year seems, well, quaint.
Ask an American what comes to mind when they think "Chocolate Cake," and they'll
say "Fattening" or "Forbidden." Ask a French person the same thing, and they'll
say "Celebration."
This may be the only time I'll ever say this: Think like the French. Americans
are like the teenagers with parents who do everything to discourage underage
drinking: Lecture about it, lock up the alcohol, and generally act insane about
their teenager possibly drinking beer. The teenagers with parents who let them
drink with family, who leave bottles of wine and beer laying around, who don't
make a big deal about drinking are less likely to binge-drink when the opportunity
arises.
So my holiday eating advice? Don't obsess about food. Eat as much as you want
and don't feel guilty about it. Just stop when you're full. Don't think of the
Holidays in terms of food, think of it in terms of family, fun and time away
from work to savor life and all its pleasures. Life is too short to freak out
over self-imposed denials. Eat rolls, eat pie, eat potatoes.
I will be back on Sunday, à tout de suite. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
****More Holiday Advice
Regarding
the ubiquitous "After-Thanksgiving" Sale... The stores want you to believe that
you MUST go shopping on Black Friday. The Thanksgiving football advertising
is meant to whip you into this consumeristic panic, even as the turkey is still
being digested: If I don't go shopping tomorrow I will miss out on the best
prices of the season! If I don't go shopping tomorrow I won't get my Christmas
shopping done!
It's not true. Don't fall for it.
****MBTA: Avoiding Real Issues
The MBTA,
which is increasing fares starting in February despite public outcry about paying
more for unreliable and shoddy service (yeah, it costs more to ride the NYC
subway, but it's apples and oranges) is skirting real issues by taking
aim at lowly subway musicians, with proposed new rules that ban the use
of microphones and amplifiers.
Sure, as I wait for a train that is running behind schedule it's annoying to
hear an Ani DeFranco wannabe purr angrily into a mic while slapping disjointed
chords out of her electric guitar... But can the MBTA focus on why the trains
run late? Why are they bursting with people? Why is the service so unreliable
and why are we going to be paying more for it? I mean, to target subway musicians
is total avoidance of actual issues that affect actual people's lives.
Tuesday November 25, 2003
****Look at Me
Pictures from last weekend's Philadelphia trip are here.
****All I want for XMAS
I really want to hear a hip-hop cover of that distinctive, some would say "novelty" classic rock classic "Werewolves of London." That would be so cool.
I know the Flamin' Groovies did a cover. But who cares about them?
****Requiem for a Store
This past weekend, in Pennsylvania, I went to the King of Prussia mall. I worked in the mall (see November 9) for many years, most notably at the King of Prussia Coffee Beanery, back when it was just another mall in suburban Philadelphia, not the grandiose spectacle into which it has morphed.
In those Pre-Starbucks days, the Coffee Beanery was undisputedly the coolest place to work at in the mall. As the only specialty coffee store, there was a lot of free quality coffee laying around, and the manager was noticeably absent much of the time (let's just say coffee wasn't the only thing she liked to drink).
The Coffee Beanery had the only Italian-style, full sized espresso machine in the mall (indeed, probably one of few in all suburban Philadelphia). Like heathens we lived in those ancient times - the early 90s. The KOP Coffee Beanery was the only place you could get a true latte or cappuccino. Regulars would drive 20 miles just for a latte. But we also had many people ask us what a "LAT-tee" was.
Due to my innate multi-tasking aptitude, I became a true master on the espresso machine. During holidays and weekends, the espresso machine was my area, and I was content. It is with great fondness I look back on my time at the Coffee Beanery
... So you can imagine my horror this weekend when I find the KOP Coffee Beanery is Dead and has been replaced by one of those dreadful As Seen on TV stores. Its distinctive shelves, where once dwelt bins of fine arabica coffee, french presses and other fashionable coffee accessories, were instead stuffed with boxes of Nads, the Garden Weasel and other junk. They didn't even bother to remodel the interior.
A Moment of silence, please.
****Politicking
I've never given money to a political candidate before. That's not my style... No candidate has inspired such fervor that I would surrender my meager disposable income to help some politician write himself into the history books.
But this election, I've decided I can't sit on my hands and just hope Bush loses. After thoroughly researching the organization, I decided to make a contribution to the Moveon.org Voter Fund, which raises money to "create and run powerful political ads in swing states to challenge President Bush's policies and his administration."
Interesting fact: Moveon.org co-founder Wes Boyd invented those flying toaster screen savers.
****Try to Cope
We are leaving early tomorrow morning for Philadelphia to see my family and spread Thanksgiving cheer... I will return Monday, possibly Sunday.
****Wanted: Answers
Surely by now you've seen Michael Jackson's hideous booking photo. What did that man do to himself?
I wonder if the police kept taking his picture until they got one where he looked like a demented, pissed witch.
Why is this the biggest story in the news? Are the reporters tired of writing about the "hard" news like Iraq and the issues the Democratic candidates are bringing up? Did they mind flocking to Las Vegas and California in droves to cover this story?
Are powers that be trying to lift our spirits with some "fun" news right before the Annual Black Friday Product Mass Consumption? Will it help the economy if we're laughing about Michael Jackson's woes instead of crying about the Sons and Daughters of America dying in Iraq?
****Love is in the Air
In the past 2 days, I've learned 2 separate couples I know are getting married.
And gay marriage is on it's way to becoming legal in Massachusetts, which I applaud.
Are you in love? Go to the Love Calculator. It doesn't seem very accurate... This is what it said about Meredith and Eric.
****Still Crazy after All These Years?
John Hinckley may be released from the psychiatric facility where he has resided since attempting to kill Ronald Reagan. His doctors and his mother say he is no longer insane. Should Hinckley, found Not Guilty by Reason of Trying to Impress Jodie Foster, be held in confinement because his target was the President? Should he ever be allowed his freedom, even if he is cured?
Hinckley probably would be released if his target was, say, an immigrant food service worker. But he gunned for the big guy, the chief of our national tribe. It's an interesting challenge for our country's sense of justice and democracy.
If I steal a candy bar from a convenience store and I'm caught, the value of the stolen merchandise is taken into account. I probably would not be sent to jail. If I steal a car, jail time may be forthcoming. Cars, after all, are worth more than candy bars. If I somehow managed to steal a copy of US Constitution, I can only imagine the punishment. The US Constitution is a national treasure.
Based on anecdotal evidence, our justice system operates in a similar fashion when it comes to murder, despite "blind justice." Maybe it's our internal sense of justice, based on evolutionary logic and prejudices. According to our criminal justice system, which is "worse" and gets punished with more time in jail and more executions: Killing a ten-year old upper-class girl or a 60-year old migrant worker? A black man killing a white man or a black man killing a black man? Killing a pregnant woman or killing a lower-class drug addict? Killing a mathematical genius or killing a car mechanic?
The sense that one murder is worse than another murder is uncomfortable. (Me comparing killing migrant workers to stealing candy bars is horrible.) Yet, as humans we cannot help but to make judgments like this. Judgments based on racial prejudice is wrong, but judgment based on value to society seem logical: The attempted murder of the president is worse than the attempted murder of an immigrant food service worker, a car mechanic, the CEO of General Motors, or me. Some people are more valuable to society; to attempt a murder on them is an attempt to rob society of a human being that has become essential.
However, Hinckley was found Not Guilty, and thus cannot be confined out of retribution rather than rehabilitation. We cannot confine an innocent man. Can we? I personally wonder if someone who is truly insane would have the capacity to decide to kill the president and then come close. At the same time, only a truly insane person would decide to kill the president
(I've always been fascinated by Squeaky Fromme, Manson Girl, who still believes Charles Manson is the Messiah. Read this interview with her about trying to slay President Ford.)
****HBO Documentary Review: Born Rich
I struggled over whether I liked Born Rich, a documentary by Johnson and Johnson heir Jamie Johnson, who interviewed 10 other mega-rich young adults about being so incredibly rich. I hated everyone in the film... I especially hated Jamie Johnson... and I don't think the movie went as far as it could of. Yet I've been thinking about it all day. And it's good to think.
Jamie Johnson is an annoying presence throughout. He needles his rich friends like Luke Weil and Ivanka Trump to talk about how it felt to grow up rich, he talks about himself, or he hounds his painter father to talk about money. I got the feeling Jamie Johnson saw Roger and Me and decided to become a documentary maker. The subject matters are dissimilar, but it was total rip-off Michael Moore. A very amateur effort, improved (I'm sure) in some way by the fact this kid is a mega-millionaire.
Yeah, I hated everyone. They all tried to sound like poor little rich kids. Except for one guy, a European who says it's the duty of the rich to be "cultured" and spend their free time endeavoring in the arts. He later said Americans ask "What do you do," but Europeans can tell what you do just by looking at how you talk and act. In other words, he likes that Europeans can sense his incredible wealth, and he doesn't like telling Americans that he does nothing.
Some interesting insights:
****Massachusetts Mental Health Center: Full Bloomin' Nuts
The Massachusetts Mental Health Center is closing its doors. Before it does, though, this artist Anna Schuleit did some installation art in the hallways of the facility this past weekend; she lined the floors with thousands of flowers (read about it here). The same artist did a project at Northampton State Hospital, another closed psychiatric hospital (read about it here).
Obviously the lady digs abandoned insane asylums. But who doesn't??? Abandoned insane asylums totally rock!
One of my few brushes with the law was when I was 18, and the S.cheski sisters took a bunch of us to Pennhurst, an abandoned, supposedly haunted insane asylum in rural Spring City, Pennsylvania and forced us to trespass. Those sisters were always troublemakers.
After about 30 minutes of roaming the deserted and decaying complex of buildings, rummaging through the papers, clothes and supplies left behind, and scaring each other and ourselves with terrifying speculation and myth, we got caught by a policemen (trespassers are quite common. I'm sure the town makes a mint patrolling the area). We each got fined about $80 and the cop called all our parents. Except mine, because I was 18. (But hey, Mom, I turned out OK!)
At the time, the fine was a bummer. That's many hours pouring coffee at the Coffee Beanery in King of Prussia. But, looking back on it, it was totally worth it. $80 to sneak around an abandoned insane asylum as an 18-year old with a bunch of friends, shivering with fear and excitement, ready to scream and run away like a horror-movie heroine at any second. So worth it.
****Cool Kids Say This Now
irascibile (adj): Prone to outbursts of temper; easily angered
As in, She is sooooo, like, irascibile in the mornings.
Cool kids say it... but can they spell it?
****Movie Review: Elephant
You know that saying "It's sexier to conceal than reveal?" Actually, that's probably not an actual saying, but you get the concept. Modesty is sexier than nakedness.
This sediment is true in some arts. Good poetry, for example, should leave unsaid what is otherwise obvious. Visual arts like painting or sculpting do this as well due to the medium's limitations. This is why it's necessary absorb poetry and art alongside literary criticism or some sort of guide that tells you what you don't see.
Movies, however, shouldn't require additional research in order to be understood on a basic level. Yet, in order to understand what the hell Gus Van Sant was trying to do with Elephant, I had to search online for other people's theories... I looked here, and here, and here. And now I think I sort of understand it.
Elephant is about students in a high school that is about to be attacked Columbine-style by two young males. It is filmed in a repetitive, time-transcending way. Most of the movie is shot with the camera focused on the back of a high school student's head as they walk around their school. This got old about 30 minutes into the movie. (By the way, is this a high school or a spring break resort? Kids wander freely around the school, don't go to classes, go to the Photography lab whenever they feel like, and get a pass to leave school for 2 hours? )
Did this movie make me feel as if I were back in high school again, wandering the halls, going into the lunch room, struggling through gym class? Not really. Was it supposed to? I don't know. I do know it got four stars in the Boston Globe and is highly acclaimed in Europe, so Van Sant must be saying something profound in the movie that is beyond me.
On a side note: Why is it called Elephant? There are no elephants (actual or referenced) in this movie. If anyone knows or has a theory, please send me an email.
I liked watching it, though. The music was beautiful. The way the stories overlapped was engaging. The only problem is the "message" is so concealed, it's wearing three layers of long underwear and a coat of knight's armor. And this type of concealing is just not sexy.
****Puzzled
Yesterday we went to the mall to buy a jigsaw puzzle at KB Toys. You know, one of those 1000 piece puzzles that require time, effort, and patience in order to complete, the ones that used to be popular back in the ancient 80s? Both Eric and I have fond memories of putting together large puzzles during the cold winter months, so we wanted to have one around when the puzzling mood struck.
After wandering around for ten minutes, looking at all the non-puzzle games (look at the type of play Barbie's getting!) we asked a KB Toys employee and she showed us a neat little stack of about ten puzzles (half of them for kids) on a shelf two inches from the ground.
Obviously 1000 piece puzzles have lost any amount of coolness they once had. What happened, America? Too busy to spend the time on something that requires hours of effort with little tangible benefits except 1- quiet time spent with loved ones and 2-mind exercise? Have all the jigsaw fans gone digital and are now at the Jigzone? Has the rampant price gauging by the puzzle industry turned people off? Is it too boring, too hard, too messy... or do you just have better things to do? OK, yeah, I understand that most people probably do have better things to do, but for those of you that don't... don't entirely forsake the puzzle.
On the way home from the mall, Eric and I talked about the games of our childhood. Typically, he dug the GI Joes, the Transformers, and Legos. I liked Barbie and Lincoln Logs. We both adored, of course, video games, as we were one of the first generations to be raised with mass-produced video game consoles.
****Inman Square Restaurants
When we first moved to East Cambridge, I was excited to try out the area restaurants (which are mostly down the street in Inman Square). Allston, with all its faults, boosts some excellent places like Grasshopper, Brown Sugar Cafe, and The Thai Place that I could never tire of eating at, but it was time for a change.
So far, I am disappointed with the restaurant selection. Good places include the legendary S and S, the bleeding-edge cool Koreana, the good-for-a-sub Aram's, and about two dozen Portuguese (ugh) restaurants and a slew of trendy places that may survive solely on the virtue of being in the Inman Square area.
The first place we ate at was Sweet Chili, a Thai place with sushi. It set a new standard for bad, expensive Thai food. The vegetables were soggy (as if they were frozen, not fresh) and the sauce lacked any uniqueness and body (as if it were bottled). Plus, the service was bad. We then heard from various sources that Sweet Chili has excellent sushi, so we went back last night. It was fresh and the rice held together well, but not the best sushi in Cambridge (that would be Roka on Mass Ave). The service was better but the bathroom disgusted me; a dozen large fruit flies circled the sink and random bits of toilet paper were everywhere. For a second I thought I walked into the restroom of a pizza parlor, not a Thai place that charges $5.50 for spicy tuna maki. I give it:
One Green Thumb (click for explanation)
A half mile down the street from Inman Square is Central Square, which boosts a number of Indian restaurants including my all-time favorite Shalimars. We tried out Akbar India in Inman Square two times to see if it could compare. It definitely gives you a lot for your dollar. The dinners can include soup, a samosa, dessert and coffee for a few dollars more. The food wasn't bad but lacked Shalimar's intense spices. The restaurant itself is unique, like a little hut with colorful decor, and the service is okay unless it's busy. I give it:
One Green Thumb (click for explanation)
Cafe China is trying to be cater to the yuppie who craves americanized Chinese food but wouldn't be caught dead in a regular Chinese restaurant. So, they class it up with an elegant little restaurant and bar. They then invest a lot of time into the wording on the menus so everything sounds gourmet, triple the prices, then serve food that is a grade or two higher than what usually comes in white paper cartons. I give it:
No Green Thumbs (click for explanation)
Literally 20 feet away from my apartment is the Court House Fish Market and Restaurant. The fish market has excellent sushi-grade fish and is a thrill to live near. The restaurant looks like a fast food restaurant but boasts some savory old-fashioned fish dinners. I give it:
Two Green Thumbs (click for explanation)
****Fanta-sy
My boyfriend and I got freaky with a glowing Fanta bottle last night, and I've got pictures!
****We're Everywhere
I got an email from another Meredith Green! Craziness! People mistakenly came to my site instead of her site (which is here). As evident by the pictures on her site, she's gorgeous. I realized that by buying the domain name Meredith Green.com, that I speak not only for myself, but for Meredith Greens everywhere.
****Happy Birthday Laurie!
Today
my wonderful, smart, beautiful and caring sister Lauren turns 29. 29!?! She
looks so good, people always ask which one of us is older. It's her, of course,
but you could never tell by looking.
Laurie is an awesome sister. We got along very well growing up, except for a
few years when I thought her goal in life was to make me cry on a daily basis.
But after she got her drivers license, she would willingly drive me places,
making her an instant Goddess in my eyes.
Laurie's beauty and coolness are only surpassed by her kindness to others. In
a world where everyone scrambles/lies/cheats for a bigger piece of the pie,
my sister is devoted to helping others, especially the neglected members of
society. This is why she is going to grad school, in far-away Phoenix.
I miss my big sister. Happy birthday to you, Laurie! Hope you got my present
in the mail...
****Wind: It Blows Where You Live
Yeah,
it's windy out. But for heaven's sakes, it's just wind! Sometimes I think the
East Coast, not at risk for any real natural disasters like earthquake, volcanoes,
tornadoes, or wildfires, takes what we do get (snow! rain! wind! drought!) and
acts all hysterical about it. Omigod, gusting winds! Take cover... or wear a
scarf!
The news this morning had shocking live coverage of people actually walking
outside. In the wind. I mean, I consider myself a brave person, but walk around?
In this wind? I'm brave, but I'm not reckless.
****McSpapegoat
This article in the National Review discusses the antagonism that McDonalds and McJobs spark globally.
While I can't imagine eating there, I don't feel McDonald's is as evil as many citizens of the world think it is. It's fast food, dammit. And for some poorer people in the US and other countries, it may be the cheapest, best (prepared) food that they can afford to buy. Sure, one can get a more nutritious, cheaper meal by cooking at home, but the trip to McDonalds becomes a cheap way to amuse the kids as well as eat. The anger that many people feel - because it's, I don't know, degrading their local cuisine? Degrading the landscape? Just too American?- seems a little elitist and unfair to me.
What do people honestly think blowing up a McDonalds will accomplish? If it's an act of protest against American policies and practices, then it is not an effective one. When American hear of a McDonalds blowing up in France, we think Those Contrary, Spiteful French! In fact, such is the American ego that we mostly chalk it up to latent jealousy.
****Another Reason to Resent Florida
This speech by Al Gore is a feisty critique on Bush's handling of September 11 and its aftermath (particularly the Patriot Act).
It is really an excellent speech, both in terms of the content and Gore's eloquence. He sounds concerned and reasonable rather than slightly whiny and hysterical (like when talking about Bush during the election.)
What Bush is doing under the pretense of protecting America is ravaging our core freedoms, which surpasses anything a terrorist could ever do to us.
****What are you doing Here?
... When you could be reading Margaret Cho's blog. Or Bill Maher's. Or Moby's.
Actually, my site's better than Moby's. All he does is talk about... Moby.
****Church Signs
This
site
has a "Church Sign Generator"... supply your own text and it shows
up on a Church sign. Like this.
****Meow Meow Meow Meow...
Our cat
is subjected to a wide variety of music. Watching her little ears twitch and
her furry face look quizzically around (what's that noise? what's that voice?
is someone going to try to pick me up?), I can't help but to make judgments
as to whether she likes the music. Since she's a mere cat, I infer that she
likes the music if she doesn't look too disturbed or scared.
Well, I guess I'm guilty of trying to project "humanness" on a pet, a most heinous
crime that has given rise to the doggie salon and summer camp industry, among
other things. According to this
article in the Boston Globe, no animal really "likes" human music: If animals
evolve preferences for sound as we do -- based upon the soundscape in which
they live -- then their "music" would be fundamentally different from ours.
In the same way our scales derive from human utterances, a cat's idea of a good
tune would derive from yowls and meows. Humans like music because our musical
scales evolved much like our languages have. Interesting. So though I'd like
to pretend that my cat is cool enough to dig Joy Division, in her ears, it's
noise that isn't as annoying as all the other noises.
****Happy(?) Veteran's Day
IN FLANDERS
FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place, and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
by Lt. Col. John McCrae, M.D. (1872-1918)
Canadian Army (John McCrae, M.D. died in service in the field.)
****I'm
That is the only time I use a small little icon face to express how I'm feeling. I swear to you.
Last night I witnessed 3 young (12-15) African-american boys steal the seat right off my bike, which I keep chained behind our house (concealed from the street, in a terrace-like parking area). I yelled and they took off on their bikes. It pissed me off.
I had to do something about it, just to make myself feel better. So I called the police. After they heard the words "stole" and "bike seat", I was put on hold for about ten minutes. Then the efficient dispatcher clarified that I did not want a cop to come out to make a report. Feeling silly, I blurted out "I just wanted to call, in case some kids are caught with a bike seat." It sounded so ridiculous.
I went
to the Cambridge
Police department's web site and checked out the crime statistics. Apparently,
I live in a pretty safe town compared to the rest of America, as indicated with
the afore-used red icon and this one 
that was so cute that I downloaded it from the police department site to show
you all. The filename the PD selected for it is "crimegood.gif".
Wait, crimegood is the name for the smiley face? No, Policemen, crimebad.
If anyone's seen my bike seat, shoot me an email. It's black.
****Eclipse Pics
It was so cold last night, I barely mustered the fortitude to watch the eclipse. (Though later I ended up biking 30 minutes to the Paradise Rock Club and then home again. Which was cold.) Luckily, my handy boyfriend documented the eclipse... go to en22.com and click Log to see his Lunar Eclipse photo montage.
****The Mall
Today I went for a brisk powerwalk so I could soak up some solar Vitamin E. Somehow my most primal female instinct took over, and I ended up in the CambridgeSide Galleria (a large mall that's an 8 minute walk) buying a pair of new earrings.
I'm all too accustomed to malls, having practically grown up in the King of Prussia mall (actual motto: Life. And all its stores.) In Boston, I've worked close to various malls and lunched frequently in food courts during all jobs previous to my current one.
But for the past 2 years, my mall access has been cut off. I didn't miss malls, and now it's a highly irritating place to go. The shopping just doesn't stop. Crowds of people with seemingly no idea what's going on come at you from every direction. Rack after rack of ugly, overpriced clothes, and shelves choking with impractical or downright useless crap, and people contentedly strolling around, in awe of how many products exist that they don't own, yet...
And today, I saw a lot of Christmas-oriented merchandise and signs, and even heard CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Ugh. I don't want it start now! The stores whip everyone into a consuming frenzy in the beginning of November. Unconsciously people think about shopping and spending money instead of fall earmarks like racking leaves, Thanksgiving, and general frolic in the brisk outdoors.
It used to start after Thanksgiving, and now it starts after Halloween. Next thing you know, Christmas hype will start right after Back-to-School hype. The Season of Fall will become known as the Season of Mall.
****Brits Think
Here are a sampling of web pages that are returned by Google upon typing "Brits Think"...
****Look at Me
I'm Newbury Street's latest pin-up girl. Click here to see the photo (which is on the flyer for the showing.)
****Look at an Idiot
I laughed at Super Greg for a solid minute, then got bored.
****Random News
****Lunar Eclipse Tonight
Totality, the phase when the Earth's shadow completely immerses the moon, begins at 8:08 p.m. and lasts for 25 minutes... the whole event comes to an end at 11:22 p.m, it says here.
****Tales from the Trolley
There was a man randomly shooting people at a bus station in the Roxbury section of Boston this week. He killed a retired tap dancer. Scary stuff, random violence is. The maid of a man I work with was in the area at the time, and today he told an enraptured flock of us about it.
Most of the time though, listening to other people's subway stories are as interesting as other people's dreams (but you can't help telling them).
For the past two weeks, I wrote all of the more "notable" commuting experiences down in a little notebook so I could present them all at once. Here goes (unedited... I spent all day grammarizing...)
Oct 28 A Businessman in South Station urges me to "go first" through turnstile, and then proceeds almost instantaneously to go in front of me. What a lunatic.
Oct 28 (afternoon) Trying to get in subway station, I was blocked by two men who were standing there making fun of the midget who passes out the free Boston Heralds in front of South Station and staring at him. I think the midget, though obviously poor and rather scruffy, is very cute! He is like a paperboy, I wish he would yell "extra extra! read all about it" Anyway, men wouldn't move and I had to push past them.
October 30 Sitting in trolley, woman is grabbing onto bar on back of my seat with both hands and pretending like she can't stand up straight and hitting the back of my head with arm. I think she wants my chair but she's not old just fat
October 31 Trolley stops for about ten minutes in tunnel during rush hour and someone keeps ringing the "stop request" bell. Conductor came on intercom and asked that "Whoever is ringing the stop request please stop!" and everyone chuckles. It kinda relieved the murderous tension in the air.
November 5 Red Line train leaving Downtown Crossing closes doors and goes about ten feet, then stops and sits there for five minutes. People on the platform are staring at us nestled safely on train. And it's a near empty train. This happens all of the time but we sat for a while and it's rush hour. Then, a man on the platform starts banging on the conductor's window, which is next to my car, demanding that the doors be opened. He was pissed. Everyone was pissed. We finally moved after that.
November 6 I'm standing on rush hour redline, and this woman approaches an old Asian man sitting in front of me and asks for his seat in a really rude but quiet voice, "Can I have your seat please? I'm pregnant." I don't think he understood her and she didn't look pregnant, she looked fat. If she was pregnant, she was maybe five months gone. She then turned to onlookers, me included, and said "Well I guess people are still rude these days." He then stood up, finally realizing what she wanted, and she sat down like a queen and sighed real loud, looking fondly down at what appeared to be a beer belly. Crazy lady.
****Dog Shots Frenchman
There's so many dorky things I could say about how a man in France was shot by his own dog...
"The animals are taking over!"
"That will teach that stupid cheese-eating surrender monkey not to leave loaded guns in the backseat of a car!"
"The dog was sick of the Frenchman trying to hump her leg all the time..."
"I better give my cat her Science Diet back (see Nov 4) or I may end up getting 'accidentally' mauled in my sleep!"
"French people hunt?"
"It's just like the worst Simpsons plots ever, when Mr. Burns was shot by a baby with a loaded gun in the back seat of a car! Well, not really, but it reminded me of that..."
Dog Shots Frenchman - Yep, even though it's the best headline I've seen all day, there's only so far that headline will take you. I kept thinking about the dog walking around on it's hind legs, wearing a trench coat, smoking a cigarette and just mowing down the hunter with a machine gun in it's paws. That would be so cute! "BangBangBangBang ! Woof! BangBang"
****Update: A Decisive Battle
The war with my cat over the sudden switch in her food brand (see Nov 1), from Science Diet to Iams, has taken a decisive turn. After several days of Coffee flagrantly picking at her food, I got home today and the dish was empty. Normally, Coffee does not eat when we're not home... so maybe she thought she'd keep up her appearance of suffering by sneakily eating the despised Iams when we weren't home. Unfortunately, she's the only cat in the house.
I am fully aware that the dietary habits of a cat are of no interest to anyone, but as the triumph is still pulsing through my veins, I feel I must share it so that you may bask in it.
****Candy: Not Always Dandy
Is bad candy an oxymoron? Apparently not. Bad candy can happen. Check out the Ultimate Bad Candy Web Site.
I concur on the Circus Peanuts and Tiger Eyes, but I've never even heard of the other candies they deem "hellish candy creations of communists and other evil foreigners." Funny and well-done.
****Philosophers Gone Wild
V. Alan White, a Philosophy professor at the University of Wisconsin, takes classic melodies we all know and love and writes "Philosophy" lyrics to them. See it here. Pretty creative stuff. I highly recommend "We Didn't Start Inquiry" (sung - poorly- to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire.")
I also like "Hume on the Brain"("Home on the Range"):
Hume,
Hume on the brain--
tends to make all absurdity plain--
by forcing my doubt
to reflectively flout
all the "truths" to which others lay claim!
****In the News
The school bus driver in Montana who slapped a kid for saying "penis" repeatedly on the bus has been disciplined.
At first, I was shocked all it took was "penis" to make this bus driver snap. But then I read... The boy's response to the bus driver's request [to stop saying the word penis] was that "penis" isn't a derogatory word, but is in fact, a scientific term.
I suspect it wasn't "penis" that the bus driver found enraging, but the insolence! The sass! The smart-alecky "It's science, you school bus driver!" said with youthful priggishness. Yeah, I'd be tempted to clip the little minx.
****Implants are Dumb
I never understood how anyone could think breast implants are a smart idea (unless, of course, one is the manufacturer of breast implants. I'm sure they think it's a great thing to do). Recent press has lead people to the conclusion that breast implants are becoming safer. Not so, says this article.
If you know someone who is thinking about getting these things, send them to the FDA site, and tell them to check out the photos under Breast Implant Complications, which have inspired next year's terrifying Halloween costume (see this year's).
Implants have pros and cons. For example, while silicone implants may save your life if you are shot in the chest, women who have them are also three times more likely to commit suicide. Perhaps some women think implants will solve all of life's little problems, but after the op, they realize that big breasts are truly nothing but big breasts.
****"Come here, chicken! I'm gonna fist you!"
In a matter of weeks, I've gone from Hard-core Soy Addict, to Carnivore Who Gives Dead Birds Culinary Ass Play. (If you are reading my site because you typed Culinary Ass Play into Google... welcome!) Click here to see the photo of the afore-mentioned activity.
Feeling adventurous, I prepared a big old-fashioned home cooked meal for my boyfriend and myself, with oven-roasted chicken, rye mushroom stuffing, and pumpkin pie. Eric volunteered to help with the pie, not realizing pumpkin pie is the Lazy Cook's pie. In a testament to the pure tastiness of my pumpkin pie, he thought I slaved over it for hours. I gave him the manly tasks of opening the cans and using the mixer. (If you are reading my site because you typed Manly Pie Ass Play into Google... welcome!)
Cooking a whole chicken turned out to be disturbing at first. I wanted to go to the "freshly killed" poultry store that's down the block, but they close at 3 on Saturdays, so I got the bird from the supermarket (ugh), all wrapped up, poor thing. Handling it in the kitchen, I almost gave up. I could feel how the flesh underneath the thick skin moved, and the cavities freaked me out. But, resolute, I trussed it, stuffed it, and stuck it in the oven for 2 hours. Overall, an immensely satisfying meal.
****Movie Review: Pieces of April
One Green Thumb (click for explanation)
Speaking of cooking poultry, today I saw Pieces of April. Overall, a cute movie in which the lead character (an uneven Katie Holmes) spends much of the movie pleading with her neighbors to let her use their ovens in order to cook her Thanksgiving turkey, because her estranged family is coming (including her mother who is dying of cancer). It kept my interest, mildly, and had funny moments and poignant moments. It's message dealt directly with Thanksgiving as a concept, it wasn't just an excuse to make a movie about dysfunctional families driving each other nuts on Thanksgiving. The 40 minutes of April running around her apartment building with a turkey was at time funny but ultimately tiresome.
****Rah Rah!
Check out photos of our Halloween costumes.
****Bush Doings
Wonder what President Bush does when he's not making Proclamations (this week's: NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2003 as National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month. Most Orwellian: NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 1, 2003, as Loyalty Day. Most bewildering: NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim October 9, 2003, as Leif Erikson Day.) or giving weekly radio addresses that are just basically rants about Saddam or Iraq or Saddam Ruling Iraq or Iraq again or Iraq again (the last six addresses are all about Iraq, cause everything in America is so effing peachy that we can focus all our energies on the welfare of a foreign country. Hey, I'm all for helping other countries and taking steps to reduce instability in the world. But can Bush let go of this obsession and do something about, say, American poverty?)?
According to this speech given by Laura Bush at the National Book Festival Gala (ooo, a gala!), the President fills his time by writing poetry like this:
Dear
Laura,
Roses are red, violets are blue, oh my lump in the bed, how I've missed you.
Roses are redder, bluer am I, seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat they miss you too, Barney's still mad you dropped him,
he ate your shoe.
The distance my dear has been such a barrier, next time you want an adventure,
just land on a carrier.
Two initial thoughts after reading this:
1- Did Bush really write this? Or was some speechwriter forced to envision what a poem written by Bush to his wife would sound like?
2- He called Laura Bush a lump in bed! Ha ha ha ha ha!
****Iams Sorry
We ran out the fancy schmancy Science Diet dry cat food that our little princess Coffee eats and had to get Iams to tide us over. And she's not having any of it. Simply refuses to even consider it, and she's quite agitated. According to this article, it's my fault that she's finicky. Now I'm determined to make her eat the Iams.