Sunday August 31, 2003
****Thank You Very Much
Today is the last day of my membership to Healthworks, the all-female "resort" gym that I joined about 3 years ago with my old roommate. Since I moved, it's just too far away to be convenient to go to, plus I needed a change of scenery. I decided to visit Healthworks one last time this morning.
I took the Charles River path on the Cambridge side. As luck would have it, Memorial Drive was closed to cars for a bike race, but the race had yet to reach the road.
So I rode on a deserted Memorial Drive, with no cars and no people except for the occasional policemen guarding a road barricade and small, scattered groups of volunteer "cheerleaders" for the race, who just stared at me as I rode by... rather slowly, as I savored having one of Cambridge's major roadways all to myself.
When I reached Harvard Bridge, one cheer group of five people (two men and three children) sprang into action the minute they saw me, jumping and clapping and waving.
"Come on, you can do it!" they shouted with wide smiles on beaming faces. I immediately sped up, sensing a sudden urgency within to prove myself worthy of such a frantic expenditure of energy.
****Bored?
The New York Times Magazine has an article about competitive eating (free registration required to access NYTimes web site). Past time? Sport? Masochism?
Interesting things in this article:
Sounds like a sport to me! In fact, there are articles about Kobayashi's hot dog victory on ESPN's web site here and here.
On a side note... I wonder what people would do if I legally changed my first name to Collard?
Saturday August 30, 2003
****Politics: Free the Wood
Every time I see George W. Bush on the news, he's fundraising. It peeves me. Why should we re-elect the man if he never does any work?
Well, I shouldn't say any work. He's been "stumping" for his forest thinning bill as of late. Sorry, I know wildfires are devastating to parts of the country, but so is poverty, lack of medical care, and loss of jobs to other countries (read here about George W. Bush hiring Indians rather than Americans to be his minions!)
Curious, I went to Bush's web site. I wanted to get into his mind, his soul! Instead, I read this speech that he made to Oregon firefighters about:
something that I've come to realize, that we can thin our forests, that we can use common-sense policy to make the fires burn less hot and protect our forests. (George W. Bush)
I'm not even going to debate the merits of forest thinning to lessen the danger of wild fire, as I don't know much about wildfire behavior and frankly, no one does.
What bothered me is that George W. Bush is one of the worst public speakers I've ever heard. He is even worse than the English professor I had in college who would just nervously deliver lecture on Middle English lit for 75 minutes with no break and no questions, rambling on as if he feared we'd leave if he stopped...
More Bush:
Before I talk about the solutions, I do want people to understand that if you are concerned about the endangered species, then you need to be concerned about catastrophic fire. Fires destroy the animals which, obviously, live amidst the raging fire.
You know, any time our community has faced the devastation of wildfire, it really does test the character of the people. For those whose lives have been deeply affected, and probably will be affected by this fire, we send our sympathies and we wish God's blessings on their families.
Stewardship contracting -- what that means is is that private organizations or businesses will be able to do the necessary thinning, and they'll be able to remove small trees and undergrowth, and they'll be able to keep part of what they remove as partial payment. That seems to make sense to me.
We got a problem. It's time to deal with the problem. And that's what we're going to talk about.
What a blathering moron! The lack of eloquence and succinctness and the use of those same tired political cliches are just striking! How does anyone sit through this patronizing rubbish!
And why is Bush for stewardship contracting? (the business that will profit from forest thinning... you know SOMEONEhad to be profitting...) Because silly, it "seems to make sense." Hallelujah! Finally, a solution that seems to make sense.
Friday August 29, 2003
****Run Run
I'm running the Philadelphia Distance run in 3 weeks. It's a half marathon... 13.1 miles. I'm woefully unprepared. The weather in Boston's been such crap and I absolutely can't run in the humidity. I should bow out but I already registered. I'll probably walk a couple of miles, but my goal time is 2 hours ten minutes.
Jesus. I'm paying forty bucks and flying to Philly to run for two hours. What a dumb bunny I am.
My bib number for the race is 6699. I think that will get a lot of stares.
Thursday August 28, 2003
****Segway Climbs Mount Washington
Finally, the much-embattled Segway scooter (once predicted to revolutionize transportation by freeing humankind from the cursed drudgery of leg movement) has found glory: It has climbed New Hampshire's famed Mount Washington (aka Mount Dress Warmly or Die).
My friend Jim climbed Mount Washington on three Odwalla bars and one Lager: One Odwalla going up, one odwalla at the top, one Odwalla going down, and the Lager at the bottom (no doubt while curled in fetal position and moaning). The Segway needed six batteries and three drivers, and that was just to get to the top. Score one, Humans!
Segway can now be marketed to the following niche markets:
Mail carriers who are becoming obsolete from the internet anyway
Rich people who will pay $5000 for ten minutes of novelty and amusement
Hikers. Cause hikers are just
sick and tired of hiking
up the mountain, ya know?
****Lovin' Mutton
A new book claims the female lust for meat has driven human evolution.
Let me rephrase: The female lust for eating meat has driven human evolution.
Apparently, because women suffer iron loss on a monthly basis (new euphemism: I can't go swimming cause I'm losing iron!) they crave meat... but, since cave women were not hunters, they cozied up to club-brandishing men, offering sex in exchange for the iron-rich animal flesh that their bodies really craved. This, according to the author, basically started civilization as we know it.
I buy it, kinda, but I don't know. Why, if women needed iron so badly, didn't they evolve into hunters also? Why didn't menstruation evolve into a less frequent or less iron-intensive event? Why didn't the eventual cultivation of spinach turn women into lesbians? While I'm no scientist...To base something as complex and emotional as sexual love on a women's need for iron seems to over-simplify matters.
My Asperger tendencies like it: A neat, tidy explanation for human behavior. Cool, there's an evolutionary reason why I engage in "silly female" behavior: Why my boyfriend is so much sexier after buying dinner. Why I like men with muscles (Muscles drag bigger beast, more iron! Mmmm!). Why that one time when I was menstruating I attacked and ate a cow.
Oh wait, that was a Kit Kat.
Wednesday August 27, 2003
**** A Moment of Silence
While my family and I were whooping it up in Vegas, my Uncle Colin passed away.
A native Englishmen, he was married to my late Aunt Mary Anne, and remarried soon after her death. Colin was a kind, generous man who loved children. I remember playing with him at family gatherings all the time when I was young. I don't think he liked teenagers as much, as I fell out of favor when I got older and there were younger, cuter kids to play with.
My Aunt Mary Anne and Colin took my sister, my cousin Cari and I to England when I was 14. I was bored most of the time, but looking back, it was a great experience and Colin proved to have quite a sense of humor.
I shouldn't say anything bad about the recently deceased, but... we are all human and have human characteristics that may sound like flaws but are in fact personality traits that make us unique.
Recognizant that Colin was indeed human: He was stubborn as all hell, took offense easier than most, and had expectations of the waiters of Lancaster county, PA that were often, alas, way too high.
Here's to Colin...
****Obituary Excerpt
F. Colin Williams, 72, of 1819 Nevin Circle, Lancaster, PA., died unexpectedly of natural causes Monday morning August 25, 2003 at the Lancaster General Hospital.
Born in Shropshire, England, he was the son of the late Edward and Sarah Faulkner Williams. Colin served in the British Army for over 26 years, retiring in 1974 as a Technical Officer Telecommunication with the rank of captain after having served in many parts of the world including Northern Ireland, Germany, Malta, Hong Kong, and Holland. His last position was as Chief Technical Officer with a NATO Counter Intelligence Unit.
In July of 2004, Colin would have observed his 30th anniversary of becoming an American Citizen.
Tuesday August 26, 2003
****Home
Arrived home from Vegas yesterday on the red-eye flight. Yesterday is just an exhausted blur. Back to work today, which wasn't t as painful as I imagined it would be. Vegas seems like a dream.
Like all vacations, I feel strangely let down. Not because the Vegas sucked (I had a blast) but because I no longer have the vacation to look forward to. I can't shift my thoughts away from my workday life with thoughts of an impending getaway.
With Vegas, this feeling is more pronounced, because I didn't win enough money to quit my job and become a lady of leisure. A woman who lunches. In fact, I'm about 80-100 bucks further away from being one of those. But hey, I tried. You gotta try.
I am working on a special Vegas entry... with pictures. It'll take me a few days to finish and post.
****Gas Shortage
I felt like an uninformed clod when my sister talked about the gas shortage in Phoenix (where she lives) because I have not heard one word about it, and I read and watch the news everyday. Very strange. I wonder if there's a reason the media on the east coast isn't really talking about it? Too scary? Not enough interest? As long as our pumps still gush that sweet sweet gas, who cares about them?
I know my sister doesn't wish she was so dependant on her car, but in Phoenix no one has a choice. The public transportation is inadequate and walking or biking everywhere is pretty much out of the question. I wish this gas shortage was front-page news everywhere in this country to make people think of what could lie ahead for the rest of us.
****Pedicabs
To tie both topics (Vegas and alternatives to driving) together... in Vegas we saw lots of pedicabs. The pedicabs on the strip are free; they work for tips. I thought they looked sort of demeaning at first (like human horses) but think those would work well in Boston, except there might not be enough room on the sidewalks and streets.
Wednesday August 21, 2003
****Vegas Baby
Just left work. Or, more appropriately, just left a big meeting at the Seaport Hotel at the Boston World Trade Center, where I managed to get tipsy off of a vodka-cranberry and a glass of wine. I'm such a light weight. I'm out of practice. It's good to realize this before I take off to Vegas though. It's bad to realize this when you're talking about Amish cooking with your boss (in my defense... he brought it up.)
Vegas. It's all I could think about all week... all that lies before me is several airport and planes.
Saturday August 16, 2003
****Loser
I'm at work. On a Saturday.
****Worse than the typical bachelor pad
The Biology and Adaptations of the Hippopotamus Leech Placobdelloides jaegerskioldi (Glossiphoniidae) to Its Host," J.H. Oosthuizen and Ronald W. Davies, Canadian Journal of Zoology, vol.72, no. 3, March 1994, pp.418-22. Having investigated more than 2000 leeches in rectums from 40 (dead) rhinos, the authors conclude that "Evidence suggests that mating in P. jaegerskioeldi is restricted to the rectum of the hippopotamus".
****Loser
I'll say it again: I'm at work. On a Saturday. Talking about hippo ass.
Friday August 15, 2003
****So 20th Century
The Broadband Fairy has yet to visit our new apartment. The only way for me to update this page is to do it at work, which isn't ideal as I'm soooooooooo busy. Next week we'll be connected again. We'll also be in Vegas starting next Wednesday. For my six or seven faithful readers... well, I'm afraid you'll just have to suffer until probably after Labor Day for daily updates.
****Color for Fitness
The CDC, apparently grasping at straws in an effort to motivate Americans to just... MOVE... has classified the following activities as "less intense than moderate" exercise: Making photocopies, playing video games, coloring, sitting in a whirlpool bath, floating and "purposeless wandering".
Tuesday August 12, 2003
****Moving
My boyfriend and I moved all of our possessions from Allston to Cambridge this weekend. The whole experience has made me want to simplify my existence. I'm sick of STUFF. In Allston, we had a bigger apartment with more storage, so it was no big deal to buy or acquire something and find some pleace to stash it. Now we will have to seriously consider every little purchase because of apartment is just stuffed with possessions. Overall, the move went well. There were a few moments when I thought I wasn't going to make it. The humidity was unbearable and I felt rushed and exhausted. On Sunday, after moving the "little" stuff for 14 hours Saturday and five hours of sleep, the prospect of moving furniture did not appeal to me.
Friday August 8, 2003
****Anguish
I'm taking a break from packing. You never realize how much stuff you have until you have to move.
****More Anguish
I was in the CVS in Downtown Crossing during my lunch time, replenishing my office snack supply, when an older (but not old) man in a business suit comes up to me and demands "Do you work here?"
This has happened to me before, not only in CVS but in other stores and even restaurants. It happened more when I was younger, but a couple months ago a man came up to me in a different CVS and asked where the batteries were. What is wrong with these people who feel it's perfectly acceptable to go up to strangers in stores and ask them if they work there, when there's nothing that visibly identifies them as employees?
Never mind that CVS employees wear CVS shirts and name tags. I wasn't even dressed "down", even though it's a Friday. In fact, I wore a leopard-print silk T-shirt, a translucent maroon cardigan from Express, and tight-fitting Tommy Hilfiger black slacks. Hardly an outfit that indicates "corporate pharmacy employee". Additionally, I had my purse and a pack of snack-sized raisin boxes. Either this man was just approaching random people and asking them if they worked there because he was socially dysfunctional, or there was something about me that signaled to him: Eureka! CVS employee!
Having someone mistake me for a CVS employee is disconcerting. Not that there's anything wrong with working at CVS, but I don't work at CVS. Was it the fact that I'm female, young, and not sporting a ton of make-up and an elaborate hair style like most of the young females who work in the downtown financial district? Probably. This man would be surprised to learn that, at my company, I embody fashion and girliness.
One time, many years ago, I was
in Sears shopping for college sheets. An elderly woman who apparently tried
to get my attention was complaining loudly
about me to an actual Sears employee. She pointed at me and I heard her:"And
she wouldn't help me! I asked her three times if she could help me, but she
didn't even look at me! I think someone needs to speak to her supervisor about
this!" The Sears employee looked at me and smirked. At the time my hair
was half black and half blue, and I had a nose ring. I don't recall what I was
wearing but the Sears employee handbook would not have approved. The old biddy
must've thought Sears was a very radical store.
Anyway, today I had an excellent morning at work, being praised in a meeting by my boss. I was feeling very working-girl-makes-good. This guy instantly put me in a bad mood when he asked me this, so I glared at him and said in a just-die voice, "No." When he turned away, I then added very loudly "You jerk."
Predictably, he didn't say or do anything regarding my proclamation, but I shouldn't have said it. I should have said that I'm on my break from the McDonald's across the street or something like that.
Wednesday August 6, 2003
****Famous Whores
I'm reading a biography about Madame de Pompadour by Christine Pevitt Agrant. It's subtitled "Mistress of France," but she was actually only the mistress of Louis the XV (father of the Louis who got beheaded during the French Revolution.) Pompadour was noted for her tremendous beauty and charm, and a devilishly clever wit. Interestingly, though the book goes on and on about this oft-commented upon wit of Pompadour, it has yet to provide one concrete example of it. To me, Pompadour focused her energies on social climbing and getting the king to buy her more houses.
Pompadour was a good friend of Voltaires... but he left the French court out of pure boredom.
The wittiest thing in the book so far was spoken by Casanova, strangely, when the adventurer was touring France. Casanova attended the theatre that Pompadour was at, and he commented on the beauty of an actress on the stage. A French courtier remarked "She has ugly legs" and Casanova replied "Sir, when inspecting a woman's beauty, the legs are the first things I move aside."
Tuesday August 5, 2003
****Article about Competition
This article about how "serious competitive sport" is disappearing from Britain's school is interesting (as it's probably a similar trend in America) but the most interesting thing about it was this quote:
It is a culture of competition that drives students towards success.
Is that true, really? I don't know. I can see how one might think that, especially if in a pinch to blame the utter apathy and laziness of today's youth on something.
I always thought the real competitive students in my school were competitive to make up for their lack of talent in the area in which they were competing... sports, academics, art, whatever. Actually, I can't speak for the athletes. But in academics, the smartest kids had no interest in competition because they'd win. And nothing sums up the mood of Methacton High School's enrichment program better than "Culture of competition."
****Methadone?
Funny how the first word my spell-checker suggests for the name of my high school (Methacton) is Methadone. In college, one of my teaching assistants didn't believe it was the actual name of a school. He said it sounded like a designer drug.
Monday August 4, 2003
****Weather
It's disgusting out. Only 80 degrees, but the dew point is like 75 degrees. It feels like a steam room. And it doesn't get better after it rains. And it's supposed to be like this all week.
****Heart-Stopping Stupidity
I never talk about work on this site because it's something that I really shouldn't talk about openly in a public space like this... but today I saw a co-worker who had a heart attack several months ago openly smoking a cigarette right in front of our building.
Never mind the health aspect of it... I can't believe he would openly do that when the company has to foot the bill for his health insurance, which he needs now more than ever cause he went into cardiac arrest! It's like a drunk-driver who just smashed the family car getting smashed in front of the family. At least he should try to hide his reckless disregard for his health. Shameless smokers really mystify me.
****Movies
I rarely go to the movies anymore, for the following reasons:
My boyfriend and I have Netflix, which satisfies my movie cravings for a lot cheaper.
Nine bucks to see a movie?!? If it's a good movie, that's a steal. But probably only 10% of movies I see in theatres are good enough to be worth nine dollars. It's not that I'm cheap, it's that I hate being ripped off.
The 40+ minutes of advertising before the movie…
Loud children and adults. I can't decide which is worse: The constant talkers or the (usually) women who just make noises. Like when something happens on screen that they don't approve of, they'll make a disapproving noise. That drives me nuts.
I can't stand listening to strangers in theatres chew on popcorn. It's so noisy.
The inability to pause the movie
The more artsy movies are more tolerable, though sometimes I'll be near the Connoisseur, the underground cinema savant who gets so excited that he (ALWAYS a he) feels the need to let everyone else know how this scene is similar to a scene in the director's little-seen debut… or that this actor had a cameo in an even artier film… or whatever obscure knowledge the Aficionado has stored in his brain that validates his otherwise petty existence. I actually used to date one of these guys. He said once he thought the other people in the theatre appreciated the comments. Yeah, people love the loud, know-it-all comments of strangers in movie theatres.
****Johnny was good
Anyway, I did what I specifically said I wasn't going to do (see July 26): I saw Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny, Johnny! You are a cinematic genius! He was fantastic, really the only great thing about the movie. Such a freak!
Can't wait for Freddy Vs. Jason. I've dreamed about a showdown between them for years!
Sunday August 3, 2003
****Phish: The IT Festival
Today I feel old and out of it because I just heard about the big Phish festival in Maine that's going on all this weekend. (I was wondering why Allston felt particularly empty yesterday.) Work's been busy and I've been out of it.
Not that I like Phish in the least, and not that I would ever consider driving to northern Maine to camp next to 60,000 Phish fans, half of whom aren't really Phish fans either (and a quarter of whom were Phish fans more than three years ago, and the last quarter of whom truly espouse the whole Phish-kid lifestyle, which I encountered in college through my close friends Aubrey and Marny, and which I found to be one of the most hypocritical, self-centered, boring subculture I ever came in contact with... and I used to be friends with hard-core ravers!!!)
****Moving out of Allston
I'm busy with my move to a new apartment, which happens next weekend. Yesterday my boyfriend and I got the keys to our new apartment and we visited it. It's so much smaller than our present place, but much nicer, and Cambridge doesn't feel or smell like it's covered in trash and dog crap a la Allston. Plus, even though we're still on the Green Line, it's the nice part of the Green line because it's at the end of the Line, the Lechmere stop, where two of the branches end. Trains leave every five minutes and it's about a five-minute ride to downtown Boston.
****Coffee
My boyfriend (his web site is here) and I are getting a new coffee maker. We went to Bed Bath and Beyond and spent 25 minutes looking at the coffee makers, debating the respective perks (ha!) of each one. And we didn't end up buying any! The coolest-looking one wasn't better than the other ones, except it just looked cooler, and was about $20 more. Then we saw another cool one, but they only had white. Then we contemplated getting a combination coffee maker/espresso machine. I'm normally not picky about products but coffee maker is important.
****Rumor: Insane Politician
Speaking of cats (and I usually am), who doesn't love those urban myth web sites? This genre of web site makes the Internet both useful and entertaining!
John Ashcroft believes calico cats are a sign of the devil. Status? Undetermined.
****Guilty Pleasures
The FX network shows multiple reruns (2 or 3 hours a day!) of Beverly Hills 90210 every Saturday and Sunday morning, and for the past six months of so, my boyfriend and I watch it whenever we're home and awake. Purely by chance today, I came across the Tori Spelling Zone. I was just saying to my boyfriend this morning how her breasts are so obviously fake even though she always insisted they're real. Sure, Tori!
The Tori Spelling Stori Telling page is also interesting, for those who wish to become Tori scholars.