Wednesday March 31, 2004
****Home Again!
Arrived home safely from Munich today, dazed and smelling very European. We had an excellent time, especially in Heidelberg, where we toured a castle and hung out with actual Germans. The weather held up marvelously except for some chilly nights in Munich. I will post more about my trip (including scores of pictures) soon. Too jet-lagged to say anything meaningful at the moment.
****I'm on Vacation
This is my last posting until April 3 or 4. I'm on a self-imposed 2-week hiatus, though I may sneak in a quick howdy here or there.
I'll be using this hiatus to work on other projects and go to Munich. Munich, baby, Munich.
Try to cope. Some suggested reading...
Blogs: Que Sera Sera, Cult of the One-Eyed Cat, Margeret Cho, Half an Orange, and Memepool.
Other: Parker Posey sound files, The Last Days of Dr. Atkins, Professor Stages Her Own Hate Crime, Why Howard Dean Lost (Dicks Like Me), Cubicle Pirates, Astronomy Picture of the Day, Darwin World, and S. Thompson Hunter ESPN archive.
****Wham, Bam
I was on a stepmill stair climber at the gym, which I'm using to "train" for whatever amount of hiking I end up doing this spring. Next to me on an elliptical machine was the most fanatical elliptical exerciser (an ellipsis?) I have ever seen, a sporty brunette decked out in swanky workout clothes. For 30 straight minutes not only were her limbs moving at a constant hypersonic pace but every muscle in her uber firm body teemed with infinite energy and precision.
It was just the most remarkable performance on the elliptical I've ever seen.
After I finished tenderizing my gluts, I went into the locker room to change. The Elliptical Olympian came in about a minute later, not a trace of sweat on her. Her locker was next to mine, and she graciously excused herself: "I just need to grab my bag real fast."
"Of course, go ahead," I said as I bent over to fasten my ox-blood Doc Marten Mary Janes (the perfect winter-weather walking shoes.) She grabs her bag from the locker over my head and goes over to big vanity mirror.
I stand up and promptly crack my head squarely on the corner of the locker door that she left ajar.
I saw stars. The pain was so sudden and fierce, for a split second I thought that I had been shot in the head. I uttered the most ridiculous pained noise (a cross between a venereal "groan" and a heartfelt "ow") and immediately sat down on the floor.
"Oh no! Are you okay?" she asked, continuing to pull makeup out of her bag.
"I'm fine," I automatically said, touching my head then looking for blood on my fingers.
"Are you sure? I feel so bad," she said, looking critically at a lipstick tube.
"Don't worry about it." A large bump was engorging under my hand. "It was my own fault."
"Well, I'm so sorry. I should've closed the door!"
Dazed, I prodded the bump on my head and looked around. Why was I sitting on the floor? I got up and put my jacket on. "It's not your fault. It's this locker room, not enough room to move around."
Her mouth instantly switched from pouty concern to a dazzling smile. "Yes, it is such a disaster, isn't it?" she laughed, dabbing at her face with a towel as I stumbled out of the locker room.
****We All Got Our Kicks
Here's a picture from the Nylon 66 show this past Tuesday, which I hyped like an obsessive teenaged groupie. The snowstorm kept people away... considering this, turnout was still good. Speaking (impartially as I can) as one who has witnessed hundreds of amateur bands perform in small clubs... Nylon 66 totally gels from a live performance standpoint. They are much faster live, as well as dynamic, sportive, and all three quite strapping. With Trei (on guitar) and Eric (on bass) sharing the vocal and songwriting duties, Nylon 66 ambidextrously knocks out two distinct styles, dipping their fingers in a variety of complementarily genres. They've got your punk, your hard blues rock, your slow melodic rock... and all of it anchored together by the energetic drumming of Baron. They proved to be a total power trio, with each instrument holding its own and churning out addictive melodies with a vehemence. They'll go from a punk anthem to emo-rock without one iota of audio disorientation. You never know what you'll hear next. Nylon 66 will definitely be playing more shows, and Boston will definitely be getting no more snows. Har. I will also link to more pictures of the show/band. Now, speaking from a totally biased perspective... what a hot bassist/singer Nylon 66 has, as you can see from the photo. Utter Rock God. I couldn't tell if people were more stunned by just how awesome he sounded... or just how physically chiseled he looked in a white T-shirt. The comments I got from people touched on both aspects of the performance. |
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****Jane Austen: Ultimate Chick Lit
I devoured everything Jane Austen by age 15 because her novels were just like the Sweet Valley High series if concerned the "busy idleness" of early nineteenth-century English gentry, a world where even the dullards were howlingly witty.
Austen proved that it's best to write about what you know, even if your life is mundane, because adroit writing will make the reader care about lives of idle privilege in a society obsessed with marriage, salaries, and clothes.
But lest ye think Austen didn't think deep thoughts, I was always of the opinion that she laced her novels with veiled feminism.
"And what are you reading, Miss--?" "Oh! It is only a novel!" replies the young lady, while she lays down her book with affected indifference, or momentary shame... in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language. --NORTHANGER ABBEY, Jane Austen (written 1803, published posthumously in 1817)
The narrator of Northanger Abbey throws this rhetorical digression in at the end of a chapter after it is revealed that the heroine Catherine "Boring Priss" Morland and her close friend Miss Isabella "Superficial Whore" Thorpe enjoy reading novels together. The excerpt is apart of a longer aside that defends (female) novel lovers against those (males) who may label fiction as not as important or heady as non-fiction.
Catherine's loutish suitor is decidedly anti-novel, saying "Novels are all so full of nonsense and stuff... they are the stupidest things in creation", while her true beau and our hero Tilney declares "The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
I first read Northanger Abbey when I was 14, and still remember the chills I got from Austen's unassuming praise for the novel as a creative art form. It seemed such a powerful, almost feminist declaration. Appearing in Austen's first novel, it is all the more poignant, as if these ideas brewed in her mind her whole life and she ached to commit them to paper, to inform fellow novel-lovers that their pursuits are valid ones.
****Happy St. Patty's Day!
Green is not only my last name, it's also my favorite color. I have this thing about green. I'll be celebrating St. Patty's Day by pointing at everyone I see wearing green and saying "Green is sooo cool."
****Not Southern Pie
Listening to Classic Rock 100.7 (see March 5), I heard the dumbo afternoon DJ Chuck Nowlin introduce Lynyrd Skynyrd as being “as southern as shoo-fly pie."
For the record, shoo-fly pie is exactly as Southern as I am: 0% Southern.
Shoo-fly pie is finest Pennsylvania Dutch contribution to our country’s culinary canon. To call it Southern is to basically call me and my entire family Southern. I do not take kindly to such defamation.
****Smart Financial Planning
I'm glad a laid-off factory worker in Ohio won a $89 million Powerball jackpot (here). It just goes to show that unemployed fathers of young children must always play the lottery.
****It was a Dark and Stormy Night
I don't like writing about the weather. In college, when I did a Creative writing independent study with an English Grad student, any inclination to write about the weather was shamed out of me. The Grad student applauded all of my writing until my final assignment, which opened with a lengthy description of a lightning storm. "You're a good writer but that's bad writing," he lectured. "Never spend more than one sentence on the weather, and then only if it's relevant. Cause it's...(big gulping yawn)."
I don't like talking about the weather either, though I do it avidly. It just seems like admitting failure, like you can't think of anything else to say, so..."Sure is nice out! Sure is a shame to be indoors!"
But sometimes the weather begs to be discussed. Like this winter to which we're ready to say good riddance. One big snowy Nor 'easter smacked Boston at the beginning of December... then just plain frigidness. Why live in New England if there's no snow? I adore being subjugated by the snow, but to stay in because it's too cold is wimpy.
So it's the middle of March. The trees are budding, people are venturing out on the sidewalks, and spring is emerging. And it just has to snow (here)... 10-12 inches is projected, starting tonight. I hope this doesn't keep people away from Nylon 66's 9pm premiere at O'Briens Pub in Allston. It's just snow, people! Don't let it keep you from experiencing livid rock energy and rip-roaring melodies, dammit.
****A Real Medical Breakthrough
All those bald religious and anti-abortion nuts who oppose stem cell research (here) have suddenly stopped with the adamant aversion...
"You mean, it could cure baldness (here)? Harvest those embryos, Doctor, hurry! [praying] With speed, Lord, succor me!"
****What am I?
My company is adapting a new logo, so everyone gets new business cards. I haven't gotten new cards since my promotion a year and a half ago. No one seems to know my current position's official name. It's always "Meredith does the software user documentation."
Am I a Software Documentation Doer? A Software Documentator? I don't like Technical Writer, because what I write isn't very technical; usually engineers who do documentation call themselves this. Manual Writer makes it sounds like I scribble things with pens and pencils. I could say Documentation Specialist but that sounds pompous, like Oooo I'm Special.
English Major is another possibility, as it would be unique to my department, quite descriptive, and everyone could take pleasure in saying it with a smiling sneer.
Whatever I am, I finally lost that pesky "Junior" that used to precede my technical writing title.
I wonder if anyone double-checks the forms we fill out to get the business cards. Maybe I'll put CEO. Or Acrobat. I've always wanted to be an Acrobat.
****I Ride the Line
I'm one of the 90,000 commuters who rides the Red Line from Cambridge into Boston every day. The Red Line, aside from being the most extensive, cleanest and most reliable subway line, treats commuters to a stellar view of gilded Boston looming above the tree-lined river banks as the train crosses the Charles River over the Longfellow bridge. 90% of us are too jaded to look up from our newspapers to savor the view, though on sunny days when the cute little white community sail boats dot the seascape, even I can't resist a peek.
The Red Line chugging across the river on the bridge has become a definitive Boston sight. Arguably, watching the train go across the bridge is better than the view from the train itself. Real World Boston had a shot of it every week, and during Boston sporting events that are televised nationally, you can see footage of the Red Line after commercial breaks. When I jog on the trail along the river banks, I get a thrill every time I see the long train gracefully gliding over the bridge, a triumph of urban ingenuity. The Boston Globe magazine paid tribute to the Longfellow Bridge this week with the magnificent aerial photo on the right (here). The river is frozen over. The Red Line train is not actually in the picture, but you can see the tracks. |
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****Random News from A to Z
It is happening again... brain clouded by lack of sleep and last night's celebratory imbibing of vodka, wine and white chocolate truffles... Last Sunday's ease seems an attractive alternative to original thought and arrogant postulation...
Australian
Driver Arrested During 'Condom Mercy Mission' (here)
Boston Man may be Serial Prostitute Beheader (here)
Cornoner Loses Teen's Remains (here)
Dubya's Ads Go Negative, Kerry Strikes Back (here)
EU Recommends Sanctions Against Microsoft (here)
Fresno Shocked by Incest/Polygamy Slayings (here)
Grandmother Held Hostage in Bronx Police Standoff (here)
Historic Cricket Match Between India and Pakistan Cements
Peace Process (here)
Ivory Coast Coup Suspicions Denied (here)
Jackson Marriage Discussed by Presley; 'I Feel Nothing' Now
(here)
Kurt Cobain Dreamed of Joining Hole (here)
Lockheed Postpones $1.8 Billion Titan Merger (here)
Mojave Desert Robot Race a Complete Bust (here)
Nazi Raccoons Conquering Europe (here)
Oprah Makes Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List (here)
Philadelphia Prepares to Demolish Veteran's Stadium (here)
Qatar Master's Golf Tournament Won by Swede (here)
Rosetta Mission Asteroids named Steins and Lutetia (here)
Stalin's Monster Crab Army Overwhelms Norway (here)
Taiwan Opposition Pulls Political Ad Comparing President
Chen Shui-bian to Hitler (here)
University of Michigan Ordered by Judge to Release Abortion
Records (here)
Veterans Reject Bush, Feel Deceived (here)
Wrestling in Japan, Mexico Attracts American Fans (here)
Xiao Yang, Supreme Court Chief of China, says Government
is Riddled with Corruption (here)
Yellowstone microorganisms may help scientists find life
on Mars (here)
Zip, Zero, Nada Chance of Bush Taking California (here)
****Dig?
en's band Nylon 66 made the Weekly Dig (here, scroll to bottom to "Rawer Power."). That's him in the picture with the bass... only the text sort of implies that it is a picture of Bop the Curtain, with whom they share the bill.
****Bush's Biggest Fans
Contrary to liberal propaganda, $6/hour factory workers have every reason in the world to love Bush.
The #1 reason being: They don't speak English (here).
****Bored?
A woman in NYC got a new cell phone and immediately started getting calls for Chris, the person whose old cell number she inherited.
An annoyance? Not when it turned out to be celebrities looking for Chris Rock. Read about the luminaries who called her here.
****Dave Blood, RIP
Dave Blood, bassist for the Dead Milkmen, a band that was at one time the pride of southeastern PA, committed suicide this week (here for sister's statement).
****Do you take Rover, to love and to cherish...
Brooklyn Bishop Nicholas DiMarzio put forth that allowing gay marriage could lead to group marriage (though that's already practiced and already illegal) or, if taken to the absurd, to marriage between pets (here). I assume he meant marriage between people and their pets. Since marriage between two pets would just be ridiculous.
Out of all the arguments against gay marriage, that has to be the dumbest and most offensive of them all. Yes, it is absurd. I would hope that the average anti-gay marriage citizen would think, "That's an outrageous comparison. Gay people aren't subhumans. They're not animals. Gay people are humans, like me." And maybe that would bring them to the conclusion that gay people are every bit as entitled to marry as straight people.
Then again... it's really disturbing just how many "rights" are being extended to pets these days.
The Wall Street Journal reports that the St. Francis Episcopal Church in well-to-do Stamford Connecticut GIVES COMMUNION to dogs and cats (here). There are insane people in this country who are too emotionally vested in their pets. And there are opportunistic people like Episcopal clerics who indulge this lunacy to bring a little bling into their coffers.
I have no doubt that someday, some person will clamor for the right to wed their rottweiler. But that has nothing to do with marriage between humans. If anything, it has more to do with the lack of significant social ties many people in this country have trouble forging.
****Why I'm Boring
Work has been grueling as we gear up for another software release with myriad interface and functionality changes. Plus I'm championing a new documentation offering, which is essentially begging for more work: "Please, please give me more work!"
So I'm afraid the quality of my web site has dipped a bit in the past couple of weeks because my days are topically boring. I mean, does anyone want to hear me dither on about computer documentation? And I can't talk about the cool parts of my job because it's all secret. (Oh, the stories I could tell! If only!)
But that's what life is for me. Sure, I could be a liar and make up all these fantastic stories, but if there's one thing I pride myself on, it's not being... very creative.
Adding to this, I spend every free moment I have working on my latest foray in fiction (in between cooking, cleaning, working out, writing letters, doing this site, commuting, practicing German, playing with the cat, shopping, hanging out and reading) It's a story about a Bostonian woman who falls in love with a Haymarket vegetable vendor... and no, it really has no basis in reality except for the Haymarket part. On the surface it's a love story, but I hope it will resonate with deeper meanings. If it ever gets written.
Anyway, I'm taking a break from doing the site from March 20 to about April 4. I will be in Germany most of the time anyway; hopefully I will return rested and with fresh ideas.
****Be sure to try the chowder!
I found out via email today that I'm an official volunteer for the Boston Democratic Convention in July (here for official convention web site). That is, I passed the security clearance. I'll probably end up stationed somewhere in the city giving directions... which I'll be doing anyway during the convention since I live right down the road from the Fleet Center. Might as well make it official.
As a constant pedestrian, I get asked for directions a lot. I love it when people ask me for directions and then get this glazed look on their faces if it gets the least bit complicated, and then drive off to certain doom. It's interesting to observe each person's tipping point. Some are with me up until "After the rotary," while others look confounded at "Take a right at the first light."
I like giving directions, though. It makes me feel powerful. I could be giving you correct directions to I-93 N... or I could be sending you into the sullied belly of Charlestown. You feel lucky?
****America's Favorite Dope Song
Today I was listening to an old mix (a... cassette. Yes. I am ancient). Iggy Pop's "Lust For Life" came on and I immediately conjured this mental image of a bunch of happy white people on a Royal Caribbean cruise, frolicking in a carefree manner on a deck surrounded by impossibly blue seas, sipping tropical drinks and shooting up heroin.
When I first saw the commercials, I was enraged that Royal Caribbean Cruises co-opted Iggy's "I'm kicking dope" anthem for their own nefarious television advertising purposes... but, upon reflection, that advertising campaign added a whole new enjoyably-ironic dimension to the song.
I can just picture all the people in Middle America tapping their feet and singing along with the Royal Caribbean cruise commercial - "Lust for Life!", thinking it's a catchy advertising jingle put together to capture the energy and excitement of an action-packed Royal Caribbean cruise. How hilarious is that.
"Hey Mildred, look at the heavy stuff I just copped from the Second Officer!" "That looks like killer scag, Burt! Hurry up and cook it, I have a rock-climbing lesson to get to!"
I can't be too hard on Royal Caribbean.
For awhile, "Lust for Life" was on every jogging mix that I made.
It was the perfect jogging song because it's catchy and uplifting. But at
least I know it's a song about kicking heroin.
****Life Lessons from Seinfeld
In our apartment's bathroom, the shelves are right above the toilet. Because of this, 98% of the time, the toilet seat cover is kept down to prevent our implements of hygiene from getting knocked into the most unhygienic of places.
But last night, as I put my big hulking bottle of Listerine on the top shelf, I knocked en's electric toothbrush right into the open toilet. Splish-splash.
Of course I immediately recalled that Seinfeld episode (here for script), in which Jerry doesn't get a chance to tell his latest ladyfriend that he knocked her toothbrush in the toilet, and then she uses it, and he can't ever kiss her again. So I marched right out to the living room and confessed my folly.
en wasn't mad and thanked me for telling him. That seemed to imply that he was a little surprised that I told him, like "Gee, thanks for telling me, because you might not have!"
Pure selfishness on my part. Because when you kiss someone, you essentially kiss everyone they've ever kissed, not to mention all of the toilets in which that person's toothbrush has been in. And that is a life lesson from Seinfeld.
****The New Meritocracy
How cash-strapped are America's schools? In California, teachers give students extra credit if they provide school supplies (here). Three extra credit points to any student who brings a box of tissues ... five points for a roll of paper towels ... 15 extra-credit points for a box of latex gloves...
****Pop Quiz
Take this BBC quiz on First Lines of Great Books (here) to find out how well-read you are (if you read English/American lit, that is).
I got a 7 out of 10 but I guessed wildly on some and educatedly on most.
****The Sass! Part 2
In my entry on Old People (here), I said "And I like how old people carry a formal politeness in public that speaks of a different time." I didn't elaborate on this vague sentiment ... but by chance today I read an article in the Weekly Standard called "The Perpetual Adolescent and the Triumph of Youth Culture" (here). And it articulated what I meant quite nicely.
Joseph Epstein puts forth that people are too casual in everyday society due to an unwillingness to grow up: "The ideal almost everywhere is to seem young for as long as possible... youth is no longer viewed as a transitory state, through which one passes on the way from childhood to adulthood, but an aspiration, a vaunted condition in which, if one can only arrange it, to settle in perpetuity."
Old people come from a time when people weren't so casual around strangers, when they acted and talked like adults and took responsibility for their own actions. Compare this to our juvenile, simpering peers and elders. This perpetual adolescence breeds rudeness and self-absorption.
God. I'm agreeing with the Weekly Standard. What is wrong with me?
****The Village Idiot of Cambridge
I don't think about how I live so close to MIT and Harvard too often anymore, but when I first moved to Cambridge almost 5 years ago, pangs of inferiority manifested frequently. My first apartment was in a huge building (here) that traditionally has served as barely-habitable housing for Harvard Grad Students for many decades: Geniuses, geniuses everywhere, who could somehow smell that I went to UMass Amherst. Relative to the rest of the country, I did just fine in life... but relative to Cambridge, well, let's face it. I'm one of the Village Idiots. And what a village it is.
Restaurants, convenience stores, the T... Everyone looked so smart. The slick rich kids could be in some kind of secret society, or a future world leader, or the child of a current world leader. The gawky ugly kids are our future innovators and inventors who will cure diseases, lead technological breakthroughs, and maybe even destroy the world. I gradually got used to it. But today, I randomly started paging through MIT's research programs (here) and realized just how much shit is going on down the road. I'm such a slacker. The big news around MIT lately (that nonaffiliated Cambridge residents care about) are those newfangled buildings. The Ray and Maria Stata Center (read here, look right) designed by Frank Gehry is causing quite a buzz, though currently it looks nothing like the projected final product. And then, of course, there's Simmons Hall, the most insane dormitory I have ever seen (here). I also like The Green Building (here) designing by I.M. Pei (an alumnus). But it's not all architectural glitz and glamour. Some of the dorms look like prisons. Read more about MIT architecture here. Or don't. Fine. It's there if you want it later. |
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****Sounds Like Someone has a Case of the Mondays!
That line from 1999's Office Space (here, IMDB) popped into my head the second I woke up and tried to recall what day it was... Sunday, maybe? No. It had to be Monday because last night was the Sopranos (a little disappointing, I must say! Hints at future mob action, but rather blah story lines... Christopher and Paulie fighting over the bill, for instance. And no Steve Buscemi, yet.).
I tried out the line on en when as he prefaced his day with a lament over its anticipated hectic ness. "Does someone have a case of the Mun-days?" I said jovially. He looked at me, concerned I had lost my mind. "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays!" I tried. Too early.
Light snow flew steadily all day. And this past weekend's weather was so nice, I had begun looking forward to spring. So of course it is windy, cold and snowy. Just commuting took so much out of me. I recalled Office Space and thanked God I didn't have to drive to work.
My job is actually nothing like Office Space except for the cube farms and the office machines that I'd love to pummel with a baseball bat. It's too small of a company to foster the bureaucratic madness depicted so masterfully by Mike Judge.
I did work for a larger company once, and it had the insipid office women, the useless middle-managers, the constant paranoia, the illegal scheming, and even the panic over getting a piece of cake at a birthday party. That large company was all about "passing the buck," a common theme in Office Space. At least I got the Big Company severance package when I got laid off... boo-yah!
Which Office Space character are you? Take the Quiz! (here) I'm Milton. That's kinda scary. I do have my own stapler and I spend an inordinate amount of time keeping it out of the coveting hands of my staple-happy co-workers. But I think I'm actually a cross between the Pre-Hypnotized Peter and Michael Bolton.
****Random News, from A to Z
Yawn. Stayed out late last night... brain hibernating... cannot compile original thought into full sentences... tenacious ability to news surf and alphabetize intact...
Amish Oppose
UPN Reality Show Amish in the City (here)
Bush Plan to Visit 9/11 Memorial (here)
Cheney's Gay Daughter Refuses to Denounce Dad's Anti-Gay
Agenda (here)
David Crosby is Busted for Weed and Weapons (here)
Espresso is Good for You (here)
Frog with 3 Heads, 6 Legs Proves Elusive (here)
Gay Marriage Should Be Legal, Says Bloomberg (here)
Horse Racing's Popularity Continues to Diminish (here)
Iraq's Interim Constitution to be Signed (here)
Jews Protest The Passion of the Christ in Concentration
Camp Uniforms (here)
Kinky Friedman Bids for Texas Governorship (here)
Ladies' Home Journal's Former Editor Burns
Bridges with Caustic New Book (here)
Martha to Report to Probation Officer (here)
Neil Simon Undergoes Kidney Transplant (here)
O'Malley Pushes On with Boston Catholic Church Closings (here)
Prequel to Lord of the Rings in Works (here)
Qaeda Eyeing Africa to Plan Future Operations? (here)
Romney's Scholarship Plan Caters to the Rich (here)
Sopranos New Season Starts TONIGHT! (here)
Teacher Shows The Passion of the Christ to Sixth
Graders (here)
UK Accountants Spend More Leisure Time Reading Than Any Other
Profession (here)
Viper Room Performance by Courtney Love turns Raunchy (here)
Warren Buffet Admits Tax Cuts Favor Rich (here)
Xavier Musketeers Rally to Defeat Temple Owls (here)
Yasser Arafat's Media Advisor Gunned Down (here)
Zimbabwe Defends Secret Youth Camps (here)
****The Sass! The Insolence!
A faithful Reader commented playfully that, based on yesterday's and other entries, I seem to "have a strong dislike for old people."
First off, I abhor the idea of aging. Your appearance just goes downhill past 25. The world becomes more confusing, more scary. You have to prime yourself to not become obsolete in a rapidly-changing world. You must focus on amassing enough cash that you don't end up slowly deteriorating in state-run retirement home with bedsores and inattentive caregivers. And then you die. Swell!
| But generally I like old people. The elderly make valuable contributions to society. Some old people can tell interesting stories, and carry insight that only comes with life experience. And I like how old people carry a formal politeness in public that speaks of a different time. Besides, they're humans, and it's not their fault they are old. Old people can be quite cute, too. |
Old people can be cute... |
However, others are bitter and envious of young people to the point of ugliness. Their stories can suck. Their constant haranguing for "the way things used to be" stagnates progress and reform. They are devious - because they failed to properly educate my generation about the importance of voting, they now have total control of our politicians. They are always complaining about something, focused entirely on their needs and their wants. And increasingly, society is focused on their needs and wants because they're the ones with all of the money. Look at George Russell Weller, the elderly man pictured on the right. Harmless old man, right? Wrong. This man killed 10 people, including an infant girl, and injured 63 more when he plowed through a farmer's market last summer (here). He went for 3 blocks without even slowing down before a body wedged his car to a stop. But is he is jail? "Oh, I must've just blacked out you see... because I'm old! I have a bad heart! I'm sorry!" So like all types of people, I'm inclined to find old people agreeable until they give reason to do otherwise. On a personal level, I don't like to be patronized. I find it difficult to take advice from a person with their pants hiked up to the chest. |
Or a true menace to society |
****Radio Radio
On days when my job doesn't require interaction with co-workers (which, given the nature of my job, is many days), I listen to the radio on my walkman. Some days I can get 95.3, Harvard's jazz-heavy radio station. But I only get good reception for two barely-tolerable stations: 104.1 (corporate alternative rock) and 100.7 (classic rock). I am not happy with this selection of radio.
The classic rock station depresses me. They play the same songs every day, and it's never going to change as long as their target demographic is still alive, because these are the songs the target demographic wants to hear. After hearing Springsteen's "Born to Run" for the 6000th time, I get seriously bummed. I picture all the graying Boomers who still get tinsy thrills from the hokey song, who recall when they were young and impetuous, how they shook their fists when Bruce belted "Tramps like us, baby we were born to run!" ... but now their kids are grown up, and the world is a scary and confusing place, and they have precursors to health problems, and they'll be happy if they can get through the rest of their life without ever having to think again. It's depressing.
The alternative rock station depresses me too. I know, you are thinking "If listening to the radio at work is so depressing, then why do you do it?" Because music could never be as depressing as the roar of the dozen of so servers that are stationed behind my desk. Because it helps me focus. Because I like to hear what the kids are listening to these days (though everything new on alternative radio is pretty much all crap besides the White Stripes, in my opinion).
But today, as I wrote about SQL queries, Jane's Addiction "The Mountain Song" came screeching into my ears and I was like hell yeah! I love this song! It instantly evoked all this gooey joy and juvenescent vigor as I recalled cruising in my car through suburbia as a freewheelin' teen renegade with this song pumping on my cassette player.
Then I conjured an image: Me, in 20 years, listening to the songs from my youth and being more excited about my old songs than about the new-fangled bands that the kids of the future will listen to.
I'm condemned never to truly enjoy new music because rock and roll is truly the music of the young. Only the young can really absorb its energy. When you get older, you lose the ability to derive hope and joy from new music. I'm an old person who only wants to hear the music she grew up, not as a reflection of the music but as a reflection of a hunger for the relatively carefree days of youth.
****What Would Jesus Drive?
I haven't seen The Passion of the Christ, so I am confused by why this woman drove her Chevy into a lake, "an attempt to re-enact a scene from the blockbuster film" (here).
Baptismal by buggy? Mel Gibson really did take liberties with the scripture. Couldn't resist an action-packed car scene?
****Now this is Ice Sculpture
Kemi, Finland, a port city at the northern end of the frozen Gulf of Bothnia in the Lapland, sounds like a very cool place. According to the NYT (here), there is a Snow Castle hotel where your bed is a slab of ice (it is the largest snow castle in the world - here for pictures). And there's an art show displaying intricate ice scultures: "in each case a leading artist was twinned with a celebrated architect to create a specific work, prompting a fair amount of brainstorming." One of the amazing results: |
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****My New Toy at Work
I was issued a spanking new 2.6 ghz HP computer with an entire GIG of RAM. Not only is it scorching fast, it's incredibly tiny for a desktop and also completely silent. It is the bona fide envy of the office (here for specs and a picture... go ahead. Envy it).
I earned it. I endured more than 2 years of other people's hand-me-downs that were only slightly more powerful than the office coffeemaker (without the side benefit of coffee, of course). I can now compile online help files faster than God could, if God were so inclined to write online help for Life (no, God did not write the Bible and if he did it's a terrible piece of user documentation.)
The Graphics guy also got a new computer today, with 2 gigs of RAM. Interestingly, he's the only other non-administrative under-30 person in the office. When I asked the IT guy "Why am I getting a new computer" I got a vague answer about "room in the budget". Suspiciously logical and fair... I wonder if management realized the average age in the company is about 45, and became fearful that the sexy under-30 crowd would start bailing out if not sated with new toys.
Hey, works for me. Did I mention it's black and silver?
****Does the Body have a Mind?
Last night, looking for Super Tuesday election results, I turned on the New England Cable News channel and saw Jesse Ventura providing political analysis. That was a bit of a shock. Apparently Ventura's a visiting fellow at Harvard now for the Kennedy School of Government’s Institute of Politics.
Governor of Minnesota is one thing, but teacher at Harvard?
One of the courses Ventura is offering during his three-month fellowship is about how pro wrestling prepares you for politics. "Kids love wrestling, so why not," he says... The students hear enough from the theoreticians, whom Ventura calls "the paper-pusher policy people," so his curriculum is radically different. (here)
Why not? Why not? Because it's HARVARD. It's our WORLD'S greatest institute of higher learning. These are the kids who will go on to run our countries. These are not contestants for MTV's Tough Enough.
As citizens of this country, as humans, we have to stop Jesse Venture from corrupting the Harvard's Institute of Politics. I'm not saying he shouldn't teach, but our world needs the Harvard kids to keep plugging away with the paper-pusher policy people. Why not BU or UCLA?
****Pastied, Pantied PETA Protestors!
People can protest whatever the heck they want, but I still rolled my eyes when I saw the "nearly-naked" PETA members protesting fur in Harvard Square (here). Protesting against fur in Cambridge is like protesting against nuclear power in an Amish community. It's gauche to wear fur here. ...the activists chanted "Love in, Fur out" as they frolicked on a mattress outside the Ivy League school."This is nothing compared to what the animals go through," protester Karla Waples, wearing nothing but pasties to cover her nipples and a pair of panties, shouted to reporters as she was led in handcuffs to a waiting police van. Yes, in our times of synthetic fabrics, killing an animal solely to peddle its fur to chic-hungry rich people is an abhorrent practice. But what about the dire issues that affect not only animal welfare, but human welfare? Deforestation and pollution affect the well-being of every single animal on this planet. Factory farming has obliterated traditional animal husbandry, creating hellish conditions for animals and undermining the quality and health of our food. Why does it seem like every animal rights protest is against fur? Everyone knows fur is wrong, and anyone who is still obstinately dons animal pelts will probably continue to until you pry it out of her cold, dead hands.
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The Other Oldest Profession |
I'm sure the minks are grateful to the protestors for raising awareness about their plight. But for once, let's get naked to raise awareness about how sprawl, oil drilling and strip mining makes animals homeless, or how pollution threatens the survival of entire species. When it comes to animal rights, fur is a fashionable but secondary issue.
(Like I'd ever actually physically protest something. I am the ultimate back-seat driving activist. I'm too busy working for the man to really stick it to him.)
****Zoom Zoom
Yesterday I rode my bike for the first time in three months. Ah, what pure pleasure it is, hurtling down a street as opposed to sedulously shuffling on a sidewalk. My world once again includes locations not accessible by T and beyond reasonable walking distances.
I was a bit nervous at first, but luckily riding a bicycle is like riding a bicycle.
****Because the Smurf Was Talking Shit
Next time someone asks you "Why did you do that?", follow this bank robber/killer's lead and say: Because the Smurf was talking shit. (here)
****Political Superstore!
I've been to www.GWBush.com before, but it's good to visit it every once in a while, to renew the soul with mirth.