Today I received an urgent letter from the Democratic National Headquarters. I know it ‘s urgent, because next to Delivery Priority checkbox, “Urgent” is checked, not “Standard.” Get that, USPS? Urgent. Make haste with this missive! Enclosed is: A letter from California Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi; the 2006 New Directions Survey; and a handy postage-paid envelope in which to mail the survey along with a membership contribution to join the exclusive Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC).
The letter from Nancy starts off: “Dear Friend, I know that Democrats like you are determined to win back the House in November.” Actually, Democrats like me are determined to finish our Christmas shopping in November. Because I’m not spending another December fighting the Holiday shopping crowds. “But restoring the Democratic majority is only the first step in undoing the damage inflicted by the Congressional Republicans. We must also present a visionary agenda that moves America into the future.” Haven’t we heard this before? Doesn’t every candidate at every election present a platform full of visions of the future? And doesn’t the future happen anyway… and America is always there?
“That’s why I have sent you this 2006 NEW DIRECTIONS SURVEY… Your responses will help us formulate an action agenda and shape the Democratic message to counter the Republican assault on America and the foundation of our democracy.” What? The esteemed Nancy Pelosi needs my input on America’s future? I’d rather leave all that lofty dreaming to the career politicians, under the assumption that they best understand the needs and wants of the American people. Honestly, my most grandiose fantasies of the future include a Miata and a face lift. As far as America goes, as long as there’s electricity and I’m not forced to learn Chinese, the direction of our anemic imperialism is not something I want to take responsibility for.
The letter continues in this ingratiating manner, and then, almost as an afterthought, the solicitation: “I encourage you to join the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) by returning a generous contribution of $15, $25, $35 or even $50 along with your completed survey document.” It kinda sounds like I have to pay to get my opinions taken seriously. What am I, a lobbyist?
So what are the precious survey questions that Nancy is waiting with bated breath for me to answer and mail in with my DCCC membership contribution? “Non-partisan observers of Congress are calling the Republican leadership of the 109th Congress the most arrogant, unethical and corrupt in modern history. Do you agree or disagree with this assessment?” Who are these “non-partisan observers of Congress?” Who observes Congress unless forced by a political agenda? And how can I, a partisan non-observer of Congress, ever hope to form an honest opinion on their opinions?
Moving onto education: “Do you think Republicans in Congress are committed to improving public schools?” Define “committed.” I don’t think they spend their free time tutoring in ghetto classrooms, but I don’t think they’d do something as politically suicidal as commit themselves to not improving public schools. And in foreign policy: How comfortable do you feel with the President’s handling of the war in Iraq? ()Very Comfortable () Somewhat Comfortable () Slightly Uncomfortable () Very Uncomfortable. God, I hate questions like this, where I have to quantify my comfort level. I mean, I’m uncomfortable with anything that has resulted in tens of thousands of deaths, but a little more than “slightly” and a little less than “very.”
And how is this helping shape America? If the Democrats receive survey after survey endorsing Bush and his policies, will they bow to our will and support the Bush Administration? Or will they cash the check, and continue with their real agenda of attaining power and majority by exploiting popular liberal sentiment? I expect this kind of manipulative subterfuge from PBS and the Sierra Club, but it’s discouraging when the Democrats stoop to polluting our democratic process with effective marketing psychology tactics.
