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Six Months!

Six months ago, I got off a Jet Blue plane from Washington DC after having spent 8 hours in a terminal at Dulles, and before that 17 hours on a plane from Addis Ababa, and before that 7 days in Ethiopia (mostly Addis Ababa, with a harrowing two-day car trip to the Sidama province). I was carrying a Little Boy who was tired, hungry (having refused all food but a single little boiled potato, piece of apple, and bite of banana bread on the entire journey), yet entirely game for the journey. Mr. P met us in Boston. The minute we strapped the Little Boy in his car seat, he began bawling. He cried all the way home. Mr. P had prepared a lovely meal of meat stew and root vegetables; he selected a CD of African music for dinner music; he totally child-proofed the house and set out a selection of toys, but all Little Boy wanted to do was sleep. I set him down gently in our bed and listened as he slumbered, his breath affected by the omnipresent wheeze that marked his first month home (“kennel cough,” someone in our travel group jokingly called it, as it affected all the kids in the orphanage.) And as I held his little body, I thought…. is he still alive? I placed my hand on his chest, searching for the raspy breath for reassurance.

At that time, I could never imagine “Six months from now.” The goal was simply to get through each day, to establish a routine, to gain his trust, to forge attachment. I remember how when, if either Mr. P or I left the house, he would sob uncontrollably. And this broke my heart, because I know he thought we were never coming back. We’d respectively sneak out of the house, praying he would not notice and chase after us with screams of protest. Heart-breaking, because this Little Boy had experienced so much grief in his short life already.

But, he is resilient. I believe this. He has a strong spirit, buoyed by intelligence and affability. He has been with us six months, and I don’t think any of us can imagine or desire a life any different.

Language

His manners have bloomed suddenly, fiercely. He says “thank you” almost to excess, and gets very sore if I say “Sure” or “Okay” instead of “You’re welcome.” NEED to have the “You’re welcome,” or he makes a fuss.

Colors still seem enigmatic to him. For awhile, every color was red; we’ve reviewed colors extensively, and he seems not to grasp them. We considered that he may be color-blind but he can tell when colors are the same (he’s very, very good at pointing out things that are the same — almost obsessed with matching) and an online color-blind test proved he can probably see colors, although he is at a loss to tell us what they are.

I’d say his English vocabulary is well past 100 words, and it is such a relief to be able to communicate with him on a basic level. His pronunciation is also markedly improved. Of course this is thanks to day care, but this is a mixed blessing, as he is also picking up some annoying linguistic tendencies. “You’re not funny,” he says, whenever we’re laughing about something that he doesn’t get. At first it was cute, but it quickly became rude. I’m sure this is something his teachers say when the kids are fooling around when they’re supposed to be listening, but when used in the context of the dinner table, it’s pretty rude and we’re working to stop these “You’re not funny. It’s not funny.”

Skills

He can count to 10 and beyond. There was a time when he’d skip 6 or 7, but he’s pretty solid now. He can usually get to 14 before it disintegrates into “teen, teen, teen… twenty!”

The alphabet is a little hard for him. He knows the word “letters” and can identify things as being “letters,” but he only knows a few of them without prompting (W, X, S). I’m not really worried about that because, developmentally, phonics comes in a few years.

I still believe this kid is a little engineer. He’s obsessed with arranging things, meticulously and in accordance with some internal logic.

He loves, loves his bicycle, and he’s pretty amazing on it. People stare with wonder at this Little Boy, zooming down the sidewalk or bike path with Mom chugging after him. “How old is he?” people ask me. Of course, his training wheels are still on, but he’s got speed, precision, and dexerity. He’s getting strong, too; hills that I used to have to push him up are now a breeze.

Music

Musical hits: The Pogues (fast paced songs only; “Waxie’s Dargle” is a fave); “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba; “Punching in a Dream” by Naked and Famous; “Love Rollercoaster” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anything song by Stevie Nicks (he loves her cover of “Free Fallin'”). He likes “Ant Music” by Adam and the Ants

Muscial misses: Hates anything by the Beastie Boys. Usually unimpressed by U2 and demands I change the channel. Classic rock and anything guitar-heavy is pretty boring to him.

Social

It’s hard to gauge him socially since so much of that happens in day care, but he seems to be pretty well-liked in his class. His favorite friends are two twin Chinese girls. He is definitely getting bolder on the playground, but sometimes tries to make friends with older kids and they humor him briefly or sort of ignore him. This doesn’t seem to bother him. One time, an older boy (6-7 years) asks to borrow his bicycle, and then rode around the basketball court for 5 minutes, ignoring Little Boy who ran after him, waiting to “play.” I finally made him give it back. Little Boy was oblivious to being taken advantage of, and I had to remind myself that he’s only 3.

Food

For a long time, I worried about Little Boy’s diet, and its lack of fruits and veggies. Having spent the first 2.5 of his life malnourished, it is essential that he receive ultra-proper nutrition on a daily basis, yet he refused all produce except what I could hide in his meat stew. Then, one day we were in Costco and they were offering samples of beef vegetable soup. I took a sample for Little Boy, and was amazed when he eagerly slurped it up. “Soup, school!” he exclaimed, excited, and I realized that he will willingly eat in school what he eschews at home. I bought 12 cans of the soup (it’s Costco, after all) and, wow, he eats every little bit. While canned soup isn’t as optimal as fresh veggies, it’s a relieving step in the right direction.

Little Boy has finally discovered pizza, and it has become a fast favorite. I’ve managed to temper down the unhealthiness by concocting “dabbo pizza” — whole-wheat bread with a coating of pasta sauce and grated cheddar cheese. He’s fanatical. He likes cheese in general, and yogurt, which we encourage because he’s got a lot of lateral height to catch up on (although he’s almost outgrown all his 2T clothes).

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