I discovered the foreign language section of the town’s public library and carefully audited the French shelf. It appears that the library receives monetary allotment for call number 440 “Romance languages French” every 5 years or so, dating back to a US-military issued French language drill book from the 1950s. I shuddered as I flipped through page after page of French verb conjugation, which I imagined being barked by a surly drill sergeant:
“To assassinate, indicative present! Je assassine! Tu assassines! Il assassine! Nous assassinons! Vous assassinez! Ils assassinent! To bomb, conditional present! Je bombarderais! Tu bombarderais! Il bombarderait!…”
In the 1960s and 1970s, the tone of the books shifted from repetitive brain-numbing drills to whimsical cartoons, with illustrated scenes of, say, families walking through the streets of Paris and querying the natives: “Où est la Tour Eiffel?” And once they reach the Eiffel Tower, they ask: “Où peut-on acheter des billets?” And once they get to the top, they say: “C’est magnifique!”
The 1980s and 1990s saw the dawn of the workbook, an unfortunate format for foreign language learning for the library goer who is unable to complete the exercises directly in the book. Besides, any serious French-language student already has a bookshelf full of little-used workbooks at home.
The book with the most appeal turned out to be a beginner’s French textbook from 1997 called Discovering French Bleu (Première partie). I totally clicked with the cover:
I mean, look at the size of that sandwich! Mon dieu! I wonder if the English textbooks for French schoolchildren feature photos of English-speaking children with head-sized hamburgers.
The level is a little below me, but it never hurts to review the basics, like the meaning of zut:
And other basic things that every French student should learn:
And words that they will never, ever forget:
Let’s all develop a healthy fear of the French!
