Ring ring! Ring ring! I pick my office phone: “This is Meredith.”
“Good morning! How are you today!” a woman’s voice tidily booms.
I loath responding to this question until I know who the caller is (Are you asking me for money? Offering me money? Telling me my identity’s been stolen?) but I tersely say “Fine.”
“Wonderful! My name is L____ N____, and I’m calling from S_____P____. We’re a Boston-based group of seasoned consultants that specializes in producing technical, product, and software documentation.”
That’s odd. That’s what I do, too. “How can I help you?”
“Well Meredith, I’m told that you’re the person to talk to regarding the documentation needs of [my company]. Is this correct, and do you have a few minutes to answer some questions?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Sales Lady: “How would you rate the quality and accuracy of [my company’s] documentation?”
Me: “Well… it’s pretty good.” (Considering I’m devoting my life to it.)
Sales Lady: “Okay, that’s good to hear. Has [my company] seen an increase in the need for documentation in the past year?”
Me: “Maybe.” (Is documentation ever a need?)
Sales Lady: “Would [my company] be interested in outsourcing your documentation projects to a company with a proven track record for success?”
Me: “No, we’re all set.”
Hmm. It’s so rare that a person is directly asked if they would like their job to be outsourced. Maybe teams of 50 writers at big fancy company with stuffed budgets could get away with outsourcing some of their doc work, but I’m a lone wolf, loping madly out of the cross-hairs. It’s too late, though, she unleashes her sales pitch: Slicker than Teflon, she extols the virtues of her company knowing that at any second I could hang up. “Reliable” “professional” “cost effective”… the adjectives fly fast and furious.
Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested.”
Sales Lady: “OK. I’ll tell you what, if I could get your mailing address so I can send out some brochures about our services -”
Me: “No, it’s okay. I’m sorry to be rude, but we get a lot of sales calls. I’d appreciate if you take [my company] off your list.”
Sales Lady: “Perhaps there is someone else at at your company who would be interested in our services -”
Me (sneering): “Nobody here’s interested in your services. Good day.” Click.
