Skip to content


Hungry for a Horse

A US federal court upheld a 1949 Texas law that bans the slaughter of horses for meat. Horses can still be sold to the glue factory by pigs named Napoleon or humanely killed in slaughterhouses, but the resulting horse carcass cannot by preyed upon by exotic meat fanatics in Europe and Japan. Instead, the horses will be buried in graveyards and given 3-volley salutes.

A deciding judge poignantly pointed out, “The lone cowboy riding his horse on a Texas trail is a cinematic icon. Not once in memory did the cowboy eat his horse.” Well, of course not in the movies. How terrifying would it be if Roy Rogers suddenly whipped up some Trigger kebobs?

But in reality, a starving cowboy stranded in the tumbleweed with a dead horse would surely be tempted to grill an equine steak (apparently, horse meat has a slightly sweet taste, like a combination of beef and venison.) To evoke cinematic ideals in deciding court cases is primitive. Like, “We never see people in the movies using the bathroom. Therefore, companies don’t have to allow their employees to take bathroom breaks.”

Though Texas judges should be applauded for their convictions about slaughtering horses for meat, do not overlook their mindless zeal in slaughtering humans for justice! Vengeance stew is a dish that’s both un-American and high in cholesterol.

Posted in In the News.

Tagged with .