The whole point of this website is to challenge my writing skills on a near-daily basis while paying tribute to my infinite vanity. The biggest challenge is when someone else dictates the topic about which I will write. So today I enlisted a volunteer to select three stories from BBC.com for my blog fodder. I bring you the first… and probably the last (see above-mentioned “infinite vanity” clause)… “In the News” Challenge.
Heart Breaker
A recent study of men’s health has shown a correlation between erectile dysfunction and coronary heart disease. The researchers concluded that “erectile dysfunction is a true harbinger of atherosclerotic coronary heart disease” probably because these men just plumb lose their will to live.
Men with sexual performance issues are urged to see their doctors and YouPorn.com. The study is regarded as important for vetting a discernible risk factor associated with heart disease, as well as explaining why every old man seems to be a dirty one.
Neo-Con Man
In Egypt, a con man has been sentenced to 1000 years in prison. The con man defrauded 500 working-class people out of $52 million since the early 1980s by promising to invest the money and split the profits with them, and then disappearing. After the con man dies, he will be mummified and entombed to serve out the remaining 980 or so years of his sentence in the afterlife.
The man’s family has reportedly appeared on television, blaming the victims for being naive enough to hand over their money. They then offered to sell their family’s shares of the Great Pyramid of Giza for the unbelievable bargain price of $1 million.
(At a) Loss Hog
Animal conservationists in India are planning for the recovery of the pygmy hog, the world’s smallest and rarest species of wild pig. Though the pygmy hog population stands at a precarious 400, recently 16 hogs that were bred in captivity were released into a wildlife sanctuary.
It’s been a long road for this little hog: “By 1964, the pygmy hog was thought to be extinct… Then in 1971, four pygmy hogs were recovered from a market… and that gave everyone cause for hope,” explains one scientist who has inexplicably dedicated his life to the survival of this tiny insignificant species of which absolutely nothing interesting or witty can be said except “I hear they taste like chicken.”
