#1
Slide card into slot. Enter ATM vestibule. Slide card into slot. Type PIN. Touch screen, touch screen, touch screen. Take cash. Take card. Take receipt. Toss cash in trash. Tuck receipt in wallet. Exit ATM vestibule. Walk a block to Cosi. Stop. Open wallet. Run back to ATM vestibule. Retrieve cash from trash. Smile at gawking man-filled suit.
#2
“Some of the spam I’ve been getting lately is just disgusting,” small talks a co-worker.
“Yeah, me too. I think something’s wrong with the sperm filter,” I say.
“What?” co-worker says.
“Something’s wrong with the spam filter,” I sweat.
#3
Sitting in a never-ending meeting that mostly involved the dissection of Java code, I had the most inexplicable craving: Cinnamon Life cereal. Despite not having masticated Cinnamon Life in over 20 years, my taste buds could summon the exact piquant taste: Sugary, savory, and spicy, all at once, with each individual basket retaining the perfect amount of milk within its bower. It seems like just yesterday when I’d empty a sizable portion of Cinnamon Life cereal into a mixing bowl, plop down in front of Saturday morning cartoons, and dawdle over my breakfast until it was a nourishing brown mush of pedicel. That was the life!
