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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

I was born 4 days after the original Star Wars was released, 30 years ago tomorrow. It’s great to have this classic bit of science fiction cinema as my contemporary, for it’s the perfect barometer to compare myself against. So who aged better… me or Star Wars?

Stars Wars started with a distinct advantage, as it was fully-formed upon birth, jumping out of George Lucas’s mind like a battle-clad Athena. “After a generation of movies with tortured antiheroes who couldn’t order a sandwich without making A Statement, it seemed remarkably fresh,” says this tribute here. Me, I was just a baby.

Growing up, we’ve both had our Jar Jar Binks moments. And we’ve both reinvented ourselves: Me, continuously building on my strengths; Star Wars, rendering itself non sequitur (“Prequels included, the series still ends with Darth Vader smiling from the afterlife while Ewoks dance, which is like ending “Band of Brothers” in a disco roller-rink with Hitler doing the Hustle with Gene Kelly.”)

30 years later, I’m in the prime of my life, and Star Wars is an entertaining but cheesy schlockfest with out-dated special effects. Still, Star Wars has the trump card: The entire franchise has made over $22 billion dollars, according to Forbes. I’ve made… nowhere near that amount.

Posted in Existence.

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