In late spring, downtown Boston experiences a distinct uptick of Office Worker sightings. The Office Worker population is observed straying from their cubicles during all hours of the day in order to bask in the agreeable weather and forage for refreshing beverages. Curiously, this phenomenon is not confined to the characteristic rush hours or the mid-day feeding time.
With such an abundance of exposed prey mingling in a small area, it is no surprise that predators also converge. One such predator is the Marketer, typified by its eagerness to gnash on the Office Worker’s thick rolls of nourishing disposable income. The Marketer is distinguished by its flashy appearance and loud vocal calls. By situating itself directly in the migratory routes of the Office Worker, the Marketer can more effectively lure the herd.
Observe:
“UNLEASH THE BEAST!” roars a particularly virile Marketer, perched atop a customized pick-up truck that is pumping generic heavy metal music. Lethargic Office Workers swarm the band of Marketers, who are all young, fit, and in their prime. The Marketers readily dispense cans of Monster Energy’s line of coffee-energy drinks to the Office Workers, all the while intoning their excitement about all the new Java Monster flavors. Notice how the Office Worker does not hesitate to grab whatever bait the Marketer brandishes. Few Office Workers can resist the call of the Marketer.
