At a 6am spinning class, a short-lived burst of mysterious energy during Kayne West’s “Golddigger” abated quickly. I thought: What am I doing here at this ungodly hour? Why aren’t I sleeping? I turned down the tension knob on my bike to a flat road setting and decided to fake my way through the rest of the class.
Then Donna the instructor announced that the next song would honor the troops in Iraq. “If they can serve out there in the desert, then you can turn up the tension on your bikes.” And suddenly the spinning studio was filled with the sounds of the National Anthem – a traditional marching band version with no vocals.
Arguably a spinning class is not the proper context for “The Star-Spangled Banner,” but America is a uniquely flag-happy nation that welcomes any opportunity to be patriotic. We dutifully rose from the seats of our bikes into the hill-climbing position, our legs gallantly spinning. By the end of the anthem, I felt invigorated. Land of the free! Home of the brave! Even in a spinning class, America’s glory and pride reverberates in our hearts.
Today I read an AP article called “Bush Urges People to Exercise” that was not nearly as inspiring. “I exercise a lot because it’s good for my mind and it’s good for my soul,” said Bush, a mountain biker. Jesus Christ. What of Bush’s puny mind and his weak soul? During the same interview, Bush said, ”A lot of the dietary problems are what people eat. Our obesity problem is not just an exercise problem, but a bad diet.” Good lord, Bush can’t even speak eloquently about cream puff issues like our national fatness.
America would be much improved if, whenever Bush opened his mouth, someone would blare a recording of “The Star-Spangled Banner” to drown out his idiocy. Whatever he’s saying, don’t look to Bush for guidance, for strength, or for inspiration. Look to that glorious musical composition that evokes the history, struggles and triumph of our people. Remember our heritage, and keep it holy.
