The other day on the T, I looked up from my magazine and realized every other woman on the train donned Ugg boots or an imitation thereof. What? When did I become so oblivious to fashion that Payless ShoeSource has the jump on me?
Are my last vestiges of coolness slipping away? Well, as Homer Simpson once said, “Maybe if you’re truly cool, you don’t need to be told you’re cool.” And as Bart and Lisa retorted back to him, “Well, sure you do. How else would you know?”
Coolness is like obscenity as defined by the Supreme Court: I know it when I see it. Unlike real coolness, it can’t be measured with a thermal-detecting instrument, but here are some ways to derive a rough estimate:
- Plug your address into the Starbucks Store Locator and see how densely surrounded you are by coolness (I’ve got 60 in a 5-mile radius… pretty cool!)
- Read the oft-hilarious NYC Anti-Hipster Forum blog… can you relate to the grievous hipster behavior which the author derides?
- Were you riveted by all of the utterly dope designs to come out of last week’s Autumn/Winter 2005-6 Men’s Fashion Week?… Hell, did you know that there was a Men’s Fashion Week?
- Does your pet have a cell phone?
- In your mind, can a Flash movie of a bunny singing a heavy-metal inspired ditty called “Everyone Has Had More Sex than Me” adequately sum up the Postmodern Condition?
Cool
