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Putting Up With the Palins

The New York Times ran an article today (here) called “For Roaming Palin, Home Base Is Still in Alaska.” Ostensibly, the article is about how the Palins are still entrenched in the rural strip-mall small town of Wasilla, and how the town is coping in the wake of the media firestorm that ignited when John McCain unleashed the Palin scourge upon this nation. But the article is really just an excuse for the Times to tap into its tabloid side by “reporting” on Todd Palin as he stands by his Dodge Ram outside of the Palin compound and tosses off witty ripostes to reporters like “Are you the guy who’s been writing all that crap about us?”

Umm… probably, although it would take a pretty intrepid reporter to admit to rugged and armed Todd Palin that yes, it is I who writes “all that crap” about you and your brood. Journalists with that amount of fortitude should be investigating tribal alliances in Iraq or inquiring about Taliban leadership in Afghanistan, not listening to Todd Palin endorse obscure conservative political candidates with affirmations like “Joe’s got a fire in his belly to serve!”

Last week a few eyebrows were raised over the news that 19-year old daughter Bristol is commanding speaking fees upwards of 30K to lecture about teen pregnancy (here). Because who better than to console girls against teen pregnancy than the country’s most infamous unwed teenage mom? “Seriously, even if your boyfriend is, like, the town’s best ice hockey player and hot enough to pose for Playgirl and become a gay icon, you should wait until marriage. I know that pre-marital sex turned out to be pretty lucrative for me, but the fact is, most of you will end up impoverished on welfare. And when my Mom’s Tea Party friends get their way, you won’t even have welfare. I don’t know what will happen to you then. I guess you should just pray for money and child care.”

According to the Times, Sarah Palin’s father Chuck Heath also makes personal appearances at conservative rallies in the West. “I do kind of enjoy putting my message across,” Mr. Heath said. “You know, ‘Bring back America.'” You know. That old tagline. But Chuck doesn’t assert his message too much, because “I don’t want to push the wrong button with Sarah. Besides, she doesn’t make the decisions. Let me retract that. I’m sure she thinks them over and she has a lot of say as to yes and no.”

Hey, Chuck: Todd Palin wants to know if you’re the guy who’s been saying “all that crap” about them. Because the truth is, the Palins are their own worst enemy. You thrust a bunch of Wasilla wahoos in the limelight, and “all that crap” will practically write itself, as evident by the article’s closing paragraphs: Mr. Palin started to pull away, then he stopped and leaned toward the window. He emphasized that he did not want to be misrepresented by a reporter. “What goes around comes around,” he said, still smiling.

Posted in In the News.

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