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Party Like It’s 2007

Today the stock market tanked so badly that we ate an austere dinner of soup and non-organic collard greens. Yet I am confident that the American economy is rebounding because my mailbox is telling a cheerier story: Three credit card offers in one day! I haven’t seen pre-approved action like this since 2007, back when our financial system embraced insolvency and predatory lending as core values.

Credit card offers disappeared from my mailbox soon after Lehman Brothers imploded. At first it was a relief, as if my front stoop had been cleared of noisome drug pushers and I could finally walk freely without being subject to their solicitation. But then, as the full extent of the recession was made clear, I sort of missed them. O for the touch of a vanished hand, and the sound of a voice that is still. Sure, they were a symbol of all that is rotten and evil in capitalism, but they were sort of flattering and comforting. Easy credit, within my reach!

So I am gladdened to see that my mail has come alive with junk, including near-weekly offers from Chase — such a persistent suitor, that Chase. Even if I choose to avail myself of their services, it really wouldn’t be helping the economy. I’m one of those credit nerds who pays off her balance the minute it’s a cent over zero. I refuse to fall victim to usury. One time I decided to take a bank loan solely to improve my credit, but then the thought of all that interest kept me awake at night until I freaked out after three months and paid it all off.

Actually, I guess the fact that I’m receiving credit card offers doesn’t really mean much. Let’s hold off celebrating national prosperity until the unemployed father of four who went through a foreclosure starts receiving credit offers. (Celebrate with one hand, sell all your stocks with the other…)

Posted in Americana.

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