About four months ago, I acquired the Beastie Boys latest release, To the 5 Boroughs. During the first listen, I mentally composed a seething, hate-filled lambasting of the release, vowing to inform the world that this was not only the worst Beastie Boys album ever, but perhaps the biggest musical travesty of the year.
What stopped me at the time from penning a To the 5 Boroughs poison ode was nostalgia, an emotion I wrestle with all too often.
I remember as an innocent pre-teen hearing Licensed to Ill and seeing the “Fight for your Right” video (and being stunned to find out that my beloved Susanna Hoffs, singer of the Bangles, was dating one of these rapping ruffians!) I didn’t like rap music, but the Beastie Boys were funny, smart and some of their riffs (“Brass Monkey” and “Paul Revere” in particular) stuck in my head. In high school, I drove around suburbia with my friends, blasting Paul’s Boutique and Check your Head while shaking my romp. In college, my roommates and I would spontaneously dance to Ill Communication.
Indeed, looking back on it, as I made my tumultuous sojourn through life, the Beastie Boys were always there. I took them for granted and never really got too crazy into them, but in my musical diet, they were staples. Why?
Because they were fun. When you dance to the Beastie Boys, you can whip out even the most absurdly dorky dance moves and still look cool.
Because every song featured a delightfully original hook that ever got old, whether it be musical or verbal or often times both. Do you know how many times I’ve sung along to “The Sounds of Science”? 100s upon 100s of times.
Because they could be righteous without being preachy. Like in “What Goes Around, Comes Around” : “With two black eyes, your girl ain’t that pretty… Why do you want to treat your girl like that?” I mean, is there a cooler way to rally against domestic violence?
Compare this with the Beastie’s rampant left-wing activism of the past four or five years. To quote a band who recognized that a band whose public image has overshadowed their music should just expire themselves (Sex Pistols): NO FUN.
I have no problem with bands evolving, but judging from To the 5 Boroughs, the Beastie Boys music has become secondary to their preachy message. And yes, we must all admire them for this message, but boys, you’ve become musically boring. People bought the album because you’re living legends, but let’s face it you so-called Beastie Boys: You released a downright shitty album.
