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The Stamps Are in the Mail

Two weeks ago I had a stack of about fifty Christmas cards all signed, sealed, addressed and ready to spread holiday cheer. All I needed were stamps, and I wasn’t about to dip into my stockpile of Forever stamps for Christmas cards, because as noble as it is, there is nothing festive about the Liberty Bell. I needed reindeer, snowmen, nutcrackers, and other non-denominational postage to enliven my plain white envelopes and make my Christmas cards just pop.

At the time, I was ticking down a lengthy list of to-do items that made the whole idea of a trip to the post office overwhelming, so I decided to order stamps online. The height of laziness, yes, but I figured that if the $1 handling fee could save me the time involved in planning and executing a post office visit, then it was worth it. And besides, what could be more logical than having stamps delivered to your home?

I purchased three books of holiday stamps online on the morning of Monday, December 7. I foolishly expected them to arrive at my home the next day. The online confirmation warned of a 3-5 day processing time, but really… these are stamps. Surely no service entity could be so inefficient as to need 3-5 days to deliver 3 books of stamps to my doorstep, especially when said entity is the freaking United States Postal Service?

All last week… no stamps. Fearful that the USPS had somehow managed to lose my stamps in the mail, I ventured to the local outpost on Saturday afternoon, which was a nightmare that I don’t even want to go into. I mailed my Christmas cards, shot off an indignant email to the USPS customer service, and today, alas, I received my three books of holiday stamps. Which I could return for a refund, but that would seem to expose me to more potential aggravation. No, I will keep the stamps, and hastily try to use them up before the next postage increase, which means I’ll be using holiday stamps well into May.

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