Skip to content


How Bout Those Pats?

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen. Soccer is a gentlemen’s game played by beasts. Football is a beastly game played by beasts. – Henry Blaha

The potential of football to incite depravity in its viewers became clear today while watching the New England Patriots tussle against the Indianapolis Colts. And I sat there with white knuckles, praying that Peyton Manning’s pasty oblong face would get smeared into the artificial turf of the RCA Dome in front of those pasty oblong Indianapolis fans and that ridiculous cartoon blue horse mascot. Like, I really wanted Manning to get injured. I was bloodthirtsy.

What a game, though. Not only did the Patriots finally play against a worthy challenger, they vanquished them after trailing for three nail-biting quarters. Perfect. The only better outcome would be if Peyton Manning left the game paralyzed from the waist down.

Maybe I should stop watching football. Maybe I should stick to LOL Cats.

Posted in In the News.

Tagged with , .