The remnants of a $12 Nathan’s hotdog lunch at the Molly Pitcher rest stop along the New Jersey Turnpike. Mr. P’s highly-functional metabolism can handle an inordinate intake of vegetable-based fatty, starchy, sugary, chemically processed foodstuffs; me, I had a liter of Fiji water for lunch to keep my endocrine system solvent.
The world’s most unabashed Best Man giving a toast that turned out to be a roast, as he revealed trivial but cringing details about the happy couple, including the stunning realization that the Bride chews tobacco.
During the Best Man’s toast, the bridesmaids looked ready to pounce on the Best Man and rip out his windpipe to protect their beautiful Bride, who was quite literally blushing.
The Bride’s father dancing with his new son-in-law. It was hard to tell who was leading. There was a surprising amount of same-gendered dancing considering we were in Lancaster, PA.
On the outskirts of Lancaster, there is a tourist attraction called the Amish Farm and House. It features an Amish home built in 1805 (shown above), a 15-acre farm that showcases Amish agricultural practices, an authentic Amish school house, and a cadre of antique Amish artifacts. It’s also now located IN TARGET’S PARKING LOT.
Mr. P is about to discover the sticky sweet delights of genuine Pennsylvania Dutch shoo-fly pie at Dutch Haven. His pronouncement: “It’s better than I thought it would be.”
Tucked in an obscure corner of Valley Forge National Park called Walnut Hill is a grand sycamore tree with sprawling limbs that have sank into the ground only to reemerge into sweeping arcs that are sturdy enough to support at least two men:
