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Googles

It’s been a long time since I’ve compiled a list of my favorite search engine phrases from my website statistics. Honestly, going through my log files to cull the phrases has become tedious, unnerving, and sort of depressing. The #1 search engine phrase is my name or some variation thereof. I know that I’m hardly the only Meredith Green in the world, but I’m left wondering just how many of these searches are targeting me. The #2 phrase is “Green Days,” which was the original name for this website that I have since abandoned but will live forever in Google’s brain and misguide dozens of sloppy-typing Green Day fans to my website. #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8 and #9 are always related to porn or escorts. Judging by the number of queries involving “nuding” and “sexing,” this is what brings most of my international audience to this website.

The remaining search engines phrases are variations on a theme. For example, apparently Google has identified this website as a leading authority on Jagerettes, because I receive dozens of hits like “how do i become a jagerette,” “jagerette apply,” and “Jagerette salary height weight.” After filtering these out, only a handful of semi-interesting queries remain, including…

can you return store-bought seashells to the ocean
is my prada a fake if it has a square metal
what kind of ring should a female wear when only heaving a civil ceremony
does a discharge stop you from attaining a top secret security clearance
what tv commercial had the swedish guy peddling and gravity
do employees have to take breaks in texas
why do rich people feel shy while having pepsi
what brand of cigarettes does billie joe armstrong smoke
is paul banks of interpol married
real pictures of cavemen bones found in hundred foot bongs
trainer – gym – flirty
hidden candid camera of women’s clothes ripped off
mustache philia
odds of hunting accident
lady kills puppy with heels
radio commercial /phlegm nicknames
romantic ipod engravings
charlton heston put his vest on
speech on the topic: life is like an ice cream, enjoy it before it melts
the serif font in marie claire
etiquette classes for millionaires
methacton beef and beer
rats living in barbecue
scotch and a cigarette with co-workers at an upscale bar
cuckold groom is castrated as he walks down the aisle
“amanda onion”
“effeminate chat”
“leave-it-town” philadelphia
harper’s index americans spend on yoga
oscar wild life is too short to drink mediocre wine white
keith richards dante’s inferno
sarkozy shirtless on boat pics
cliff claven bulge
hearing an echo nasal irrigation
calzone caused nosebleeds
monkey ice cream

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