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Bridal Extraction

Wedding magazines and books often feature timelines to help plan the details of one’s event. These checklists are pretty standard. For instance, most recommend choosing a wedding date 1 to 2 years before the wedding — a self-referential paradox, incidentally. I read a dozen near-identical timelines, looking for something I may have missed, and then I came across a line item in the 6-month to 9-month time range that I had never seen before: Begin pre-bridal skin treatments.

Now, I was blessed with many enviable physical attributes — working brain, good health, perfect height, sturdy calf muscles — but my skin has been a long-life source of anxiety. After my pimple-plagued teenaged years, it has steadily improved, either because my hormones are abating or I’ve found a regime of organic skin care products that have quieted the storm, at least that can be seen from a distance. But to achieve flawless bridal pores, it seemed worth trying out monthly facials. To someone who does her own manicures and sometimes skips the post-haircut blow-dry to save $10, it seemed an unconsciable extravagance. Three months later, I’m addicted to facials.

For anyone unfamiliar with what exactly a facial entails: It begins soothingly enough, with an array of clean-smelling lotions and scrubs, hot wet towels, and light massage around the face and neck area. A facial steamer is trained on the face for about 5 minutes, and it feels wonderful. Then, the extraction begins.

My first extraction, I was completely ignorant to what was about to happen. Imagine my shock when the facialist began squeezing the pus out of my pores by means of intense finger pressure. Horror quickly replaced shock, and then pain set in. Gasping pain. The facialist is lucky I didn’t kick her. My only conciliation is that I couldn’t see the junk that was being extracted. After she finished and applied a face mask, she left the room for ten minutes, and I can only imagine she was retching in the bathroom.

I’ve since read up on extraction and found out it’s a controversial procedure, with some claiming it damages the skin and causes breakouts, but the results for me have been marvelous. Extraction. I thrill on the word.

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