I sometimes half-joke that my books have been translated into 2 languages. It’s a true statement, but ultimately a joke because the books are computer manuals, and their translation into French and German is a business endeavor with the goal of globally expanding the usage of our software programs. You see, my bragging is actually a pitiful attempt to delude myself and others into thinking that my written output warrants translation because it is crucial to the universal human condition, not crucial to increasing shareholder value.
So it brings me great, conflicted pleasure to announce that my written work is now available in UK English. Today I perused the translation and found myself confounded by a few things. For example, instead of “When the checkbox is checked,” it says “When the tickbox is ticked.” I don’t know what the hell is up with this “tickbox” shit, but I still hesitate to count UK English as a whole other language, so maybe I can say that I’m translated into 2 1/2 languages.
Reading the UK translation is entertaining, because who can look at words like “italicised”, “organisation”, and “favourite”, and not titter about the phonetic proclivities of those barmy Brits? But spelling is not the only rhetorical delta in the UK version. To my surprise, the UK translation changed the punctuation style from “close” to “open,” which violates one of my fundamental grammatical rules for Technical Writing: Always, always use close punctuation!
For all the non-grammar nerds who are still reading this, “close” punctuation means to liberally use commas, hyphens, and other marks, while “open” punctuation means to eliminate all but the essential punctuation. Some examples:
“one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer” is close punctuation, while “one bourbon, one scotch and one beer” is open punctuation
“Click this, and then click that” is close punctuation, while “Click this then click that” is open punctuation
“post-modern” is close punctuation, while “postmodern” is open punctuation
“i.e., the baby” is close punctuation, while “ie the baby” is open punctuation (and, in my opinion, downright sloppy)
The English have always leaned more towards open punctuation than Americans — for example, they have long dropped the usage of the useless period (or full stop, as they call it) on “Mr and Mrs” — but I bristle to see technical writing that uses open punctuation. Not only does it illustrate the creeping informality of language, I believe close punctuation aids the user’s comprehension, and establishes an authoritative, trustworthy tone. As you may now be noticing, I write this entire website with close punctuation. Because I’m an American, and I believe in commas, hyphens, and the pursuit of semicolons.
